The Truth About Gibbies
by Archilochus
Summary: Carly's in for the fight of her life, and no, it's not against Shelby Marx. She has to survive an entire evening with her boyfriend Gibby's family! No girl has gone the distance before without leaving Gibby, but can Carly break the cycle? Bloopers added.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

'_So waaaake up the members of my nation, it's your time to be, there's no chance unless you taaaake one-'_

"Hello?"

"Carly?"

"Hey Gibby."

"What's going on?"

"Oh nothing. Just studying in my room. Wishing you were here."

"We'll see each other at school tomorrow."

"Aww. You know me. I can never have enough Gibby."

"True dat."

"Aww. You know I love it when you don't pronounce your 'th's' properly."

"You just said 'aww' twice in a row."

"Aww."

"Seriously. It's getting kind of annoying."

"Sorry. Anyway, what were you calling me for? Not that I'd mind if you called for no reason. Girls love that kind of stuff."

"Actually, it's something kind of important."

"Well what is it? You sound all serious."

"Carly…jeez, I really don't want to have to say this, but…"

"…Oh my God."

"Please try to understand…I wanted to avoid this, but I have no choice."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"…Huh?"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"Wh – _no_, Carly what are you–"

"I _can't_ _believe,_ you're breaking up with me!"

"Whoa, Carly, step off the gas for a minute."

"Oh a car analogy. How appropriate! I'm a car to you aren't I? I'm just a leased vehicle!"

"Carly!"

"Yeah! Car-ly! Guys like you think they can treat girls like automobiles. You lease us for a year or two, and then when you get tired of us, you go get another one!"

"Can I just say something?"

"Ugh! I can't _believe_ you're breaking _up_ with me!"

"Wh – are you going down steps?"

"Yeah! Guess where I'm going?"

"…doooownstairs?"

"To the freezer! There's a jumbo sized container of Drake and Josh's ice-cream, and I'm gonna get the biggest spoon I can find and eat _every single bite of it_!"

"Drake and Josh's? That's like, more calories than ten Inside-Out burgers!"

"And don't you think about hanging up on me! I want you to listen while I eat it. I want you to think about what you've done while I stuff every scoop down my throat!"

"Give me three seconds. Just three seconds."

"God, I am so mad at you right now! I could just…I could just kick Spencer in the knee!"

"Carly, just – wh – what was _that_? Did you just _kick_ Spencer?"

"Quiet Gibby! I've got the big spoon now, and I want you to pay attention! You're going to hear this whether you like it or not!"

"No, Carly, no! That ice-cream is _very_ bad for you!"

"Mmmm. Gah. Dush dish meg 'oo habby Gibby?"

"I can't even _understand _you!"

"Ug. I go eat it awwwwww night Gibby. Awwwwwww night. And I go get thooooo fat!"

"Carly!"

"Thooooooo fat!"

"CARLY I'M NOT BREAKING UP WITH YOU!"

"… … … … …wiwwy?"

"Yeah. Really."

_Gulp_. "Oh. I see…"

"Carly? Are you there? Carly?"

"THEN WHY DID SET ME UP LIKE THAT? _God_, I am so _mad_ at you!"

"…"

"When I see you at school tomorrow morning, we are having one serious talk about appropriate telephone conversations, and why–"

"_LIIISTEEEEEEN!"_

"…okay. You've got my attention."

"I was just going to ask you if you wanted to come to my family reunion next weekend."

"Oh. Well, okay."

"I didn't tell you the time or place."

"It doesn't matter. It sounds important. I'll make time."

"I really rather you didn't."

"How come?"

"Cause I don't want you to go."

"Why not?"

"Cause…Look. Whenever I have a steady girlfriend, my family always wants to meet her."

"So?"

"My family is nuts! You think I'm weird? You should meet my Uncle Gibson!"

"Gibby, you _are_ weird. That's what I like about you."

"No you don't understand. Every girlfriend I've ever taken to a family-get-together has broken up with me before it even ended."

"Well how many girlfriends have you taken?"

"I…rather not say."

"Gibby!"

"I've taken a lot, okay! The point is I don't want to do it. But if I don't take you, they're going to keep bugging me about it until I pop like Freddie's zit!"

"The one he had in math class?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh my God, it was _so big_!"

"You're not helping!"

"Okay, okay. So, what do you want me to do?"

"We can pretend you're sick."

"But won't they just wait until I get better and start pestering you again?"

"You're right. Think, think, think…I got it!"

"What?"

"I'll say you have leprosy."

"Gibby!"

"I can't think of anything else!"

"Look, maybe I should just go. How bad could it be?"

"You have _no_ idea."

"That settles it Gibby, I'm going."

"Car-ly."

"I don't care how weird they are, or what they eat or wear or…do. I'm going."

"Carly please. Let's think about this."

"I did all the thinking that was necessary. I'm going to that reunion, and you will rue the day if you try and stop me."

"Ugh. All right, fine. It's next Sunday at four o'clock. I'll pick you up."

"Relax Gibby. We've been going out for sixth months, and I've been living with Spencer for years. I've got weirdness experience."

"Yeah, I know, I know. Who knows, maybe you'll pull it off."

"Darn tootin'."

"Heheh…hmph, you know, it's kind of funny."

"What is?"

"Out of the two of us, I have to say, _you're_ probably the weird one."

"That is funny."

"I know, right? Who'd a thunk?"

"Gibby?"

"Yeah?"

"_Never_ call me the weird one."

* * *

Carly was in her room, changing into her pajamas and getting ready for bed. It had been an exhausting evening to say the least. Going bonkers on your boyfriend like that tended to take its toll on you. Plus, Carly had swallowed two scoops of Drake and Josh's before Gibby could stop her, and that was about the equivalent of eating _one_ cheeseburger, so she ran an hour on the treadmill to burn it off. Finally, it took another hour to coax Spencer into coming out of the closet, where he was hiding from his unpredictably vicious sister.

"What a night," Carly said to herself. "Still, it'll be kind of cool to meet Gibby's family. I hope they like me." Carly's gaze shifted to the wall behind her bed. She lowered her voice to a seductive tone. "I know you do."

On said wall was a giant poster of a smiling, shirtless Gibby. Carly ordered it shortly after they started going out.

"Oh, were you watching?" Carly covered her chest, pretending she were indecent. "Now, now Gibby, you shouldn't stare. It's not gentlemanly."

The enormous depiction of Gibby remained unfazed, its eyes never leaving the playful brunette. After several seconds, Carly began to feel uncomfortable.

"Okay seriously Gibby, stop staring at me."

**Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly, it's characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.**

**AN: You likey?**


	2. A New Hope?

**A New Hope?**

_Ding-Dong_.

"I'm gonna die."

"Gibby, it's gonna be fine."

"You remember what I told you?"

A loud sigh emanated from Carly.

"Yes, for the _tenth_ time. They're not going to be wearing shirts at dinner, there's going to be dancing, and finally we're going to play games, and everyone's supposed to bring a game idea to share."

"Do you have your game idea?"

"No, but I'll think of something during dinner."

"Carly!"

"Sh-sh, I think someone's coming."

"Great! This dinner's gonna go just like the one from _Shrek 2_, where Princess Fiona takes Shrek to meet _her _family."

Silence.

"…Did you just call me an ogre?"

The front door opened. Standing under the threshold, greeting the young couple was none other than Gibby's Uncle Gibson. The same Uncle Gibson Carly had been warned about. He, along with his wife Gabriella, was hosting the get-together at their house.

"GIBBEH!"

Uncle Gibson, who was a very large man, charged the stoop where Carly and Gibby were standing and snatched up his nephew in a brutal bear hug.

"HOW YA DOIN' KIDDO, GREAT TA SEE YA!" Uncle Gibson gave Gibby a ferocious noogie before releasing him. Suddenly, he whirled around, so that he faced Carly directly. The big man froze. Across his features was sculpted a gigantic smile which, although Carly didn't notice at first, was slowly growing bigger and bigger, until finally:

"WHO'S THIS? _WHO'S_ THIS? _WHO_, IS _THIS_?"

Carly quietly passed gas.

"C'MERE AND SAY 'HI' TO YOUR UNCLE GIBSON!"

The brunette nearly screamed when Uncle Gibson bowled over and scooped her up in his beefy arms.

"Hi…Un-cle…Gib…son."

"Uh, maybe you shouldn't squeeze her so tight Uncle Gibson," a very pale Gibby suggested.

"WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING? I _LOVE_ THIS GIRL!"

"Hey, what are you doing – ohhh-wwoooww, that hurts!"

Uncle Gibson chuckled as he gave Carly an even harder noogie than the one Gibby received. When it was finally over, he just stared at the brunette, still wearing that intense smile. For several seconds, he seemed so overcome with emotion that he couldn't get his next line out.

"I…you…we're…" Uncle Gibson's head went side to side. "HI!" He took Carly's hand and vigorously shook it. "Welcome to the family." He beamed at Gibby while he shook Carly's hand. "I like her. I, LIKE her!" Uncle Gibson turned toward the open door.

"HEY GABRIEEELLLLAAA! GIBBY'S HERE! AND HE BROUGHT THAT FUNNY GIRL FROM THE INTERNET!"

Uncle Gibson gestured at Carly. Thankfully, all the volume had left him. "Come on in Carly! I'll introduce ya to the family!"

Carly hesitated to follow the mammoth man, who had already begun ambling through the house.

"I've got a good feeling about this," Uncle Gibson's voice trailed off. "I've got, a _good_ feeling about this!"

Carly waited until Uncle Gibson was safely out of sight.

"Last chance Carly," Gibby said. Carly had never seen him look so serious. "If you go in there, there's no turning back. We can still do Plan B."

After a moment's silence, Carly shook her head.

"No."

"Aww." Gibby kicked the porch. "I liked Plan B."

"Gibby, we're not becoming hobos." Carly took her boyfriend by the hand. "Now look at me. Gibby, look at me." Gibby looked at his girlfriend. "I promised that I would come with you today, and that I would stay no matter what. And I'm going to keep my promise. No matter what happens."

Gibby gazed sadly at Carly.

"No matter what?" he asked. Carly nodded.

"No matter what." She pulled her boyfriend in for a hug. "I'm going the distance. And nothing's gonna stop me." Gibby smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. The couple embraced tenderly for several seconds, until Gibby noticed that Carly was trembling.

"But that man squished me," she whined. She buried her head in Gibby's chest.

"Come on," Gibby said. He grabbed a hold of Carly's wrist.

"I changed my mind, I want to be a hobo." Gibby rolled his eyes.

"You asked for it. We're going."

"I think I have leprosy."

Gibby let out a big sigh. _This is going to be a long night_. _Thank God there's not that many of them._

The couple stepped into the house and made their way through the living room. Gibby, who visited his Uncle regularly, guided Carly through a sofa and ottoman to a sliding door, which Uncle Gibson had left open for them. The door led to the back lawn, where there was a long table covered with a white disposable cloth and set with napkins, forks, and knives in anticipation for the big dinner. The table was filled with people, except for four open seats.

"Wait, I just remembered." Carly looked earnestly at Gibby. "Freddie left his ointment on my sofa. If he forgets about it, that rash is going to get out of control."

Gibby scoffed. "He stopped itching weeks ago. Besides, his ointment's safe and sound on your sofa. What's it going to do, fall into the wrong hands?"

* * *

"Ha-ha-haha-ha!"

"Give me my ointment Sam!"

"That rash is getting sooooooo big!"

"GIMME MY OINTMENT!"

* * *

Gibby tugged on his girlfriend. "Now come on."

The couple arrived at the sliding door. When they got there, they took a deep breath, and took their first step outside.

"There they are!" Uncle Gibson was standing beside the table, where the others were sitting down. He greeted the couple with unflinching fervor. "Everyone. I want you to meet, Carly, Shay!"

Carly expected a salutation loud enough to rupture her eardrums. Instead, the Gibsons hardly made a response at all. A few claps, some half-hearted 'yay's, and that was it. Apparently they weren't all-over-the-top like Uncle Gibson. Carly felt her heartbeat slow down to a comfortable pace. She could handle this.

"Carly, c'mere girl." Uncle Gibson put an arm around Carly's shoulder. Now that Carly was up close, she could see that there were ten family members in total. Uncle Gibson went around the table in no particular order. He started with the woman sitting closest to him, a striking forty-something with long dark hair.

"Now, you already know Gibby's brother, so I'm going to introduce you to everybody else. This lovely lady is my wife Gabriella."

"Charmed," the dark-haired woman said, though she sounded anything but.

"And that's my mother, Geraldine. You can call her Grandma Gibson"

"That's my grandpa's wife," Gibby added. Grandma Gibson sat stoically in her chair. For all Carly knew (and suspected), Grandma Gibson hadn't even heard her son.

"And then we have my sister Gertrude and her husband Gavin. That's their children over there, Gunner and Genevieve."

Gertrude and Gavin stared at Carly as if she were the most boring human being on the planet. Their children were staring at Carly too, but with their mouths hung open. Carly had been an internet celebrity long enough to know that the children's staring was not born of admiration. Instead, they were the dumbfounded, almost scared stares that children sometimes gave strangers. Based on her own judgment, Carly guessed they were somewhere in elementary school.

"Over there's my brother Grover, and his wife Gwen."

Grover and Gwen smiled politely at Carly, and then averted their attention.

"And last but not least is their daughter Gladys."

Gladys, who looked about thirteen, gave Carly an eager smile_. _Carly had a feeling she was going to like her. The brunette frowned however when she spotted an additional person who Uncle Gibson didn't point out. This individual was squeezed into a very small space in between Uncle Grover and Aunt Gwen. Only a sliver of pale forehead and a tuft of unkempt, black hair were visible.

"Who's that?" Carly asked. She pointed at the nearly invisible head. She craned her neck to get a better view.

"Oh," Uncle Gibson said. "That's Philip." He said the boy's name like he were something you found under your shoe. Based on the glares the rest of the family gave him, Philip was not a very popular character. "That's all I have to say about him."

"Why's his name Philip?"

"I said that's all I have to say about him!" Uncle Gibson's features hardened for a moment, then softened. He smiled at Carly again and motioned toward three empty seats near Guppy.

"Philip's adopted," Gibby said in a whisper as they took their seats.

"Aww, poor guy." Carly caught a better glimpse of the disliked boy, who was wearing a very forlorn expression. "Where does he come from?"

Gibby shrugged.

"I don't know. He just showed up one day and started living here."

"Oh." Carly didn't quite know how to process this.

"Ex_cuse_ me."

It took Carly a second or two to realize she was being addressed. When she turned around to face the owner of the voice, she found that it wasn't Gladys or Genevieve, but someone completely different. Carly smiled at this new young girl, who had a head of reminiscent dark hair.

"Oh hi, I don't think I met you yet." Carly offered her hand, but the girl ignored it.

"Yeah, you're in my seat dribble-face."

"Gibbriella!"

Gibby's Aunt, Aunt Gabriella, was shooting eye daggers at the young girl. It was obvious the girl was her daughter.

"Gibbriella, that's not how we talk to other people."

Carly cocked an eyebrow. "Gibbriella?"

Gibbriella glared at Carly.

"What?"

Carly began stumbling for words.

"N-nothing. I, that's a…lovely name. Yeah, l-lovely name. I think it's so great you know, cause, it's so original. My-my brother, Spencer Shay, he's an artist, you might have heard of him. Caused a big accident on the freeway with a distracting sign. Pee on Carl? He consulted an art historian one time. His name was…Dr. Diddle-biscuit."

"That's a stupid name," Gibbriella said.

"That's what I said," Carly agreed instantly. _Oh no, we have a meanie._ Gibbriella continued glaring at Carly, and only after several seconds elapsed did Carly figure out she was still in the girl's seat.

"Sorry, I'll sit over there." Carly moved to the right, past Gibby to the last available seat. To the right of this, she saw someone who she knew very well, though she hadn't seen much of him over the previous year.

"Hey Guppy," Carly said. She gave Guppy a friendly elbow to the ribs. "Happy birthday." Carly laughed. Despite whatever else happened this evening, she could always count Guppy being Guppy.

"Oh yes, hello Cah-ly," Guppy said. He glanced at Carly as if he were entertaining a small child. "Um, if you don't mind I'd wish if you refrained from nudging me in the ribs and repeating puerile phrases from my past. I know it's been a while since we last saw each other, but these days I'm quite removed from the mannerisms of yesteryear."

Carly gaped at Guppy for about five minutes. When she recovered, she turned to Gibby.

"Uh Gibby. Your brother's…different than the last time I saw him." Gibby rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, we've been sending him to this fancy school in London. He actually just got back home this morning for summer break."

"Oh. So that's why he has a British accent."

"Yeah." Gibby shot his brother a hard look and then, in a very loud voice that carefully stressed every syllable, said: "And it's gone RIGHT to his head!"

Guppy dismissed Gibby with a wave of the hand. "Pish posh brother, don't waste your time quibbling over my vanity. Uncle Gibson?" Guppy tried to catch his Uncle's attention. "Uncle Gibson, may I be excused? I shall like to play a video game."

"After you eat, Guppy," Aunt Gabriella answered. "We're not going over this again."

"But Aunt Gabriella, every second I sit here suffering through this Cro-Magnon prattle drains away a little bit more of my precious brainpower. At this rate, I'll be unable to form coherent sentences in a matter of hours."

"That's impossible Guppy," Gabriella said. "You can't grow stupider just by spending time with less intelligent people."

"That's what you think you intolerable shrew," Guppy mumbled to himself. Gibby leaned over, so only his girlfriend could hear him.

"I think he's right," Gibby said. "He was actually a lot smarter this morning when he came home."

"Okay," Carly said, not quite accepting Guppy's intellectual metamorphosis. "I get how he can have an accent by living in England, but becoming a genius?"

"Apparently he already was a genius. They had him tested cause they thought he was…well, you know, like me. And it turns out he has an IQ of a hundred and ninety."

"Wow!" Carly said. "But wait, why did he always act so goofy before?"

"The headmaster at his school thinks it was his environment." Now it was Gibby's turn to sound cynical. "He said that in some cases, brilliant minds can be suppressed by an intellectually toxic atmosphere."

"But…that…"

"Basically he said we're all crazy and stupid."

"I see." Carly glanced around the table. Aside from Uncle Gibson and the funky names (and Philip), she had to say that the Gibsons weren't anywhere near as messed up as she thought they'd be. If anything, they were a little on the quiet side. Speaking of Uncle Gibson…

"Hey Uncle Gibson?" Carly asked.

"Carlay! What can I do for you girlie?"

"I was wondering. If…you don't mind, I was wondering what your name was?" Uncle Gibson smiled at Carly.

"Grindelwald."

_Of course it is_. "Oh. Well, that explains why everyone calls you Uncle Gibson." Uncle Gibson's smile faltered.

"Explains what? I don't get it"

"I, you're right, it doesn't make sense." Carly bowed her head. _Note to self. Stay away from nomenclature._

"I think the meatloaf's ready," Aunt Gabriella said. She got up and retreated through the sliding door.

Numerous loud cheers erupted from the table. Whoops, and 'oh yeahs,' and 'alrights,' came from every corner. In comparison to their reception of Carly, the Gibsons were ecstatic about the imminent arrival of food.

"WHOO, MEATLOAF!" Uncle Gibson hollered. He clapped his hands together and began rubbing them furiously. "Ya like meatloaf Carly?"

"Oh yeah, meatloaf's awesome," Carly said. "Except for this one time, my friend Sam's mom made some, and we all threw up so bad we had to go to the hospital."

Every face at the Gibson table went stone cold.

"But, you know, that was just the one time. I, I _love_ meatloaf."

This seemed to soothe any hardness brewing in the Gibsons' hearts.

"Hey, Carly, you need something to drink?" Uncle Gibson asked. He put his hand on the table, prepared to get out of his seat."

"Oh, it's okay, I can get it myself." Carly rose to her feet. "Where do I…?" Uncle Gibson pointed behind Carly.

"In the cooler, right over there."

"Okay." Carly walked over toward the large red container. On her way to the cooler, she caught the eye of Gibbriella, who was now residing in her old seat. Carly tried smiling at the girl. "Having fun?"

Gibbriella just glared at her.

"I bet _you_ like meatloaf."

Gibbriella's glower only deepened. She reminded Carly of the way Sam looked when someone was really upsetting her.

"I'm going to get my beverage now." Carly shook her head as she turned away. _That girl could use anger management. _Carly propped open the cooler. She quickly scanned over the contents, until she located a bottle of water. _Ha, take that high-fructose corn syrup._

Carly withdrew the bottle and closed the lid. When she turned around to go back to the table, she let out a yelp.

When Gibby had warned Carly that his family ate meals shirtless, she had thought he meant only the men. But as Carly stared at the Gibson family, she realized that Gibby meant the _entire_ family ate meals shirtless. In the time it had taken to fetch a drink, the men's torsos had become nude, and the women were only wearing bras.

Including Grandma Gibson.

"Are you staring at something?" Grandma Gibson said. She studied Carly with tough beady eyes, which were covered by a pair of thick spectacles. Gibby told Carly his grandmother had vision problems too, so it surprised Carly that she had caught her staring.

"No-no, I'm not staring at them. I mean, at you."

Grandma Gibson snorted. "Good. I'm a little old to be reduced to a slab of meat young man."

Carly's eyebrows went skyward. "What do you – I'm Gibby's girlfriend! Girl-friend!"

"Really?" Grandma Gibson reached across the table. Carly went very white. "Oh…yeah." Grandma Gibson snorted again. "Barely."

"Ha-ha," Gibbriella taunted in a sing-song voice. She stuck her tongue out at Carly.

"Shad-app Gibbriella!" Grandma Gibson said. "What's this country coming to? I take a bullet in Korea, and I have to suffer through this in my golden years?"

"Oh my God, you were shot like your husband?" Carly asked. She tried to forget her recent molestation, as well as the remarks against her womanhood.

"Yeah. I was sent as a performer for the troops. You know, to relieve the tension."

"And the enemy shot at you?"

"I didn't say that." Grandma Gibson looked at Carly like she was incredibly stupid. "I was shot while I was singing."

"Oh, wow." Carly peered down at her own fingertips, which she had begun tapping together. "So…it was an accident?"

"No." Carly had a feeling that Grandma Gibson wanted to hurt her very much.

"I heard that she was really, really bad," Gibby whispered. Carly tried nodding, but in spite of the strange turn the evening was taking, habitual tasks like nodding had become difficult.

"Hey, the meatloaf's here!"

Indeed, as Uncle Gibson said this, Aunt Gabriella was returning to the lawn and wielding a giant platter filled with loaves of meat.

"That doesn't look like much food," Carly told Gibby.

"Wait," Gibby said.

So Carly waited. As she did, her eyes gradually grew wider and wider. For this wasn't the only platter Aunt Gabriella would retrieve. Right after she brought out the first, she went back inside and brought out another one. And another one. And another one.

"Wow, that's a lot of meatloaf." By this point, the table was almost completely covered with platters. When Aunt Gabriella set down a giant one in front of Carly, it dawned on Carly that each person had an entire platter to themselves.

"Uh, Aunt Gabriella," Carly said after she had been given hers. "Can I have half? Or one-sixteenth?"

The look Gabriella gave Carly could have made Barney cry.

"Look Carly, I don't know what kind of family you come from, but in ours we don't leave leftovers."

"She's right kiddo!" Uncle Gibson added. "Besides, you're way too skinny to be worrying about that." He slapped his considerable girth and laughed.

"Sure, I'll just eat all this meatloaf." Carly searched the table up and down. "Um, is there any salad?" Uncle Gibson stopped laughing.

"No."

"O-okay. Sorry for asking."

"Don't be Carly," Guppy said. Carly was surprised that his accent was already fading. "This brutish clan only devours meat. Another reason why my intellect was so repressed all those years was inaccessibility to a well-balanced diet."

"A difference in diet can affect your brain?"

"Yes," Guppy said. "You see, glucose is the main source of fuel used by the brain to drive mental functioning, and if you fail to consume an adequate amount of–"

"Guppy, eat your food or I'm telling your mother," Aunt Gabriella said. Guppy sighed in frustration.

"Yes, Auntie." Guppy took a small, precise bite of meatloaf. He chewed on it thoughtfully, becoming all but lost to the outside world.

"So your mom's on a date tonight?" Carly asked Gibby, trying to cling on to something normal. She remembered her boyfriend saying something about it on the drive over.

"Yeah, she's dating the head chef of this barbecue chicken place. She loves chicken, so it should go pretty well."

"Wait a minute, isn't your mom's name Charlotte?"

Gibby swallowed a mouthful of meatloaf. "Actually, that's her middle name. Her first name's Gail."

"I see." Carly was about to dig into her meatloaf when she remembered something else. "Hey wait, where's your grandpa?"

"Riding camels in Egypt."

"Really?" Carly frowned. "I didn't know he was physically active enough to do that."

"He's not," Gibby said with a slightly worried tone. "He…thought he was going to Switzerland."

Carly's eyes widened. "Oh my God, is he okay?" Gibby shook his head.

"We haven't heard from him in ten days."

"I'm sorry." Carly rubbed Gibby on the back. She knew how close he was to his grandpa. She then resumed beholding the colossal amount of meatloaf stationed in front of her. She took a deep breath. _I guess it's now or never. Remember, you're doing this for Gibby._ Carly stuck her fork into the meatloaf.

"Ex_cuse_ me!"

For the second time that evening, Gibbriella had interrupted Carly. Carly, who was starting to get fed up with the disagreeable girl, leaned forward to call her out, but then noticed that the entire table had gone silent.

At this dreadful moment, Carly realized that she was the only one still wearing a shirt.

"Carly?" Gibby said. It sounded as if every conceivable emotion had been hollowed out of him. "Sweetheart? Baby doll, and light of my life? I promise I will not ask you this again until, should I be so lucky, the night of our wedding, but…would you please take off your shirt?"

Carly glanced around at the unfriendly eyes. Uncle Gibson, who had been so nice to her thus far, looked very disappointed.

"Carly girl, I…" He was struggling for words once again, but this time out of sadness. "Maybe you think it's weird, but, we invited you to our home. It's our custom."

It took everything in Carly not to cry. Gibby squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. Closing her eyes, and screwing up the depths of her courage, Carly performed the deed.

"_Thank_ you!" Gibbriella said when it was over. She shook her head, shoving her fork into her food. "I had almost started _eating_."

Carly put her hands over her face, going bright red. _This is going to be harder than I thought_.

**Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly, it's characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.**

**AN: Bit of an odd place to stop, but I was worried the chapter might get too long. There will probably only be one or two more chapters, and I'd like to keep them of somewhat equal length. I know how almost everything's going to happen in my head; it's just a matter of working it out on my processor. Not too much Cibby thus far, but there will definitely be some later. What twists and turns do I have for you? Just how crazy will this story get? Will Gibbriella ever find true love? Will I get any returns on my taxes? Stay tuned to find out the answers to these and more exciting questions next time on The Truth About Gibbies.**


	3. The Gibsons Strike Back

**The Gibsons Strike Back**

After Carly finally summoned the courage to take her hands off her face, she began eating her meatloaf. Try though she might, she couldn't disregard the fact that she was dining shirtless. With every forkful she kept bracing herself, hoping she wouldn't get any food on her. But Carly was an optimistic girl, and after several minutes of quiet chewing and swallowing, her spirits recovered a little.

And the meatloaf _was_ excellent.

"You did a really good job on the meatloaf Aunt Gabriella," Carly said. She wiped off her mouth with a paper napkin.

"I bought it at the dollar store," Aunt Gabriella replied none-too-pleasantly. Carly's stomach gurgled with the contents of her meal.

"Oh well…" The brunette glanced at her platter. It bore the design of a quaint maple tree. "These, these platters are really nice!"

"I bought them at the dollar store too."

"I'm sure it's a great dollar store!" Carly blurted.

"It got shut down."

"Last week," added Gunner, Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Gavin's son.

"Cockroach infestation," piped in Genevieve, Gunner's sister.

"They still haven't found them all yet," said Gunner.

"Don't I get any meatloaf?" Philip asked. He looked mournfully at the rest of the family, who unlike him, each had an enormous pile of food all to themselves. No one paid any attention to Philip.

"Fine," he said, as if this happened quite often. "I'll just go and heat some up myself." He slid off his seat and went into the house.

Carly watched sympathetically as the boy left. She wondered how long it would be before the Gibsons started treating her like that.

"Hi Carly!"

Surprised that one of the females said her name in a kind manner, Carly searched the table and found that Gladys, Uncle Grover and Aunt Gwen's daughter, was smiling at her. Carly remembered that this girl was the one that seemed friendly when being introduced.

"Hey, uhh…" Carly had forgotten the girl's name.

"It's Gladys," Gladys said. She apparently was not bothered by Carly's breach in memory. "I love watching your show. You and Sam are _so_ funny."

Carly smiled at the girl. "Aww, thank you." Carly looked eagerly at Gunner and Genevieve. "Do you guys watch iCarly too?"

"No," Gunner said. "Our mom says that if we do, we'll go to hell." Aunt Gertrude suddenly became very occupied with her meatloaf.

"We watch the Dingo channel," Genevieve said.

"They have family-friendly humor," Gunner said.

"I don't want to go to hell," Genevieve said.

"Me neither," Gunner said.

If Carly's facial muscles tensed up any tighter, she was certain her face would snap. Instead, she returned her attention to the one Gibson youth who liked her. "So Gladys, what grade are you in?"

"Eighth grade," Gladys said. "I'm going to graduate next week."

"Oh yeah?" Are you ready for high school?"

"I hope so. Middle school was really tough."

"You're telling me," Gibby said. He rubbed his bottom nostalgically. "I got so many wedgies. I actually had to stop wearing underwear."

"Gross," Gibbriella said. Gibby furrowed his brows at her.

"Don't you ever have anything nice to say?" he demanded. Gibbriella simply took another bite of food.

"No."

"Just watch your mouth Gibbriella. Remember, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't even _have_ that name."

Gibbriella just ignored her cousin.

"Hey Gladys," Carly said. She was hoping to lighten up the mood. "If you want, maybe we can have you come on the show sometime."

A grin erupted on Gladys' visage. "Oh my gosh, really? That would be so cool!"

Aunt Gwen coughed into her arm. Carly got the impression that Aunt Gwen thought Gladys would be sent to hell too. Gwen exchanged a surreptitious 'oh no you don't' glance with her daughter, which caused a quick shift in Gladys' mood.

"Well, actually…"

"It was just a suggestion," Carly said. Gladys pushed her seat back, averting her gaze.

"I need a drink," she mumbled.

"No wait, allow me." Carly needed every friend she could get at this reunion. As long as she kept being nice, sooner or later, they had to concede, right?

"What can I get you?"

"A Peppy Cola please?"

"Comin' right up."

So Carly went over to the cooler and retrieved a Peppy Cola, deliberately avoiding any visual contact with Gibbriella. When she handed the drink over to Gladys, Gladys accepted it with the utmost gratitude. _Well at least nothing can wrong with this_.

When Gladys opened her can however, the contents sprayed violently all over.

"Ahhhhh!" Gladys flapped her arms, flinging liquid off her.

"I'm _so_ sorry!" Carly said. She received a fistful of napkins from Gibby, and set about rapidly drying off the girl. "It must have gotten shaken up earlier."

"It's okay," Gladys said. She repeatedly wiped her forehead.

"I'll go get you another one."

So Carly got her another one. When Gladys opened this newest can, the pressurized blast knocked her clean off her chair.

"Great Scott!" Guppy exclaimed. "It happened again!"

"Gladys! I'm so, so sorry!"

Gibbriella was being uncharacteristically quiet during all this. That was because she had her pear phone out and was anxiously recording the mayhem.

"How dare you do that to our daughter!" Aunt Gwen said.

"Mom, it's okay!" Gladys gasped. She hauled herself to her feet and managed to climb back in her seat. "Carly's right, I think someone must have dropped them before putting them in there."

"If you say so," Aunt Gwen said. It was obvious she still blamed Carly. Carly glanced around fearfully at the others, and her worries were confirmed when she saw all of them (besides Gladys, Gibby and Guppy) staring daggers at her. In a way, she couldn't blame them. Gladys was the nice one.

"Well," Carly said. She chuckled a couple of times, but it had no effect on the family. "I guess that's why we should all drink water. No calories and…no…heheh, hassle."

No one laughed at this.

"Well, that didn't take as long as I thought."

Philip had returned, with a miniscule, but still adequate, serving of meatloaf. He appeared to be in a much happier state of mind. "So, what'd I miss?"

Just like before, no one paid any attention to him.

"And that's dinner!" Uncle Gibson said. He clapped his hands to emphasize this. "So, shall we clean up?"

"What do you mean that's dinner?" Philip protested. "I just got here!"

The others pushed their chairs back.

"Uncle Gibson? Uncle Gibson? Aunt Gabriella? Aunt Gertrude? ...Gibbriella?"

Uncle Gibson, Aunt Gabriella, Aunt Gertrude, and Gibbriella, rose to their feet.

"Fine!" Philip spat! "You know what, fine! I don't need this!" Philip walked away angrily with his plate. "I'm eating with David Schwimmer! And maybe we'll go catch a movie too." Philip stalked off.

"Does he really know David Schwimmer?" Carly eyed her boyfriend curiously.

"Actually, yes," Gibby said.

"Hmm, kid has connections." Carly went to remove her platter from the table, but froze when she saw that she was the only one doing so. Confusion settled over her.

"Gibby, what's going on? I thought we were supposed to clean up."

"We will," Gibby said.

"Okay. But, but wait. I thought Aunt Gabriella said there wasn't going to be any leftovers."

"There won't be," Gibby replied. "Remember when I told you there was going to be dancing?"

"Yeah?"

As if on cue, all the Gibsons pulled their platters to their respective edges of the table, so that there was a small but consistent gap between them. The gap was almost wide enough to be a walkway."

"Well," Gibby continued. "This is it."

"Huh?"

"Alright Gibsons!" Uncle Gibson yelled. He had gotten over Gladys' soaking and was back to his jovial, boisterous self. His hands were cupped around his mouth. "Get on your dancing shoes. It's time for, 'Go, Go, Round They Go!'"

Clapping resonated throughout the gathering. Carly's jaw dropped. She looked again at the gap in between the platters. It now seemed much thinner than it had before. Her heart rate picked up speed.

"He seriously can't expect us to dance on that!" she told Gibby. "There's nowhere near enough room!"

Carly peered at the table in terror. The Gibsons were still clapping, and the noise for some reason made Carly even more afraid. Once a few moments went by, Carly realized that they weren't applauding anymore, but rather they were clapping in unison.

"Are they…setting a beat?" Gibby slapped himself on the forehead.

"Okay, they're going to start singing soon."

"They're going to sing?"

"Yes, they're going to sing!" Gibby fought to stay calm. Carly tried to focus, but all she could hear was the clapping. "Now look. We each have to do this one-by-one. When it's your turn, you have to dance up and down the table. It's only for a little while, but when they say 'your name,' and then 'go,' you have to kick a platter off the table."

Carly's heartbeat increased exponentially.

"We have to do this one-by-one?"

"Yes!" Gibby said. "Look, just wait here. I'll go first."

"Come on Gibsons!" Uncle Gibson prodded while he clapped. "Who's up?"

"I am Uncle Gibson!" Gibby declared. He moved to the shorter end of the table, where he could climb on to the gap between the plates. When Gibby stood up, the others cheered and clapped even louder.

"ARE YA READY GIBBEH?" said Uncle Gibson.

Gibby took a deep breath. Like a diver before a death-defying plunge. "I am."

"OKAY! GIBSONS! START…SINGING!"

Gibby started hopping, and the first chorus began.

"_Go, go, _

_Round he goes,_

_Where will he end up, _

_No one knows._

_Go, go, _

_Round he goes,_

_Where will he end up,_

_Round he GOES!"_

Just like he described, Gibby now began galloping from one end of the table to the next.

"_Go, go, _

_Round he goes,_

_Where will he end up, _

_No one knows._

_Go, go, _

_Round he goes,_

_Where will he end up,_

_Gibby GO!"_

When they sang 'Gibby GO,' Gibby tucked his leg back, and sent the nearest platter flying away, meatloaf and all.

"ALRIGHT GIBBY!" Uncle Gibson hollered. "KEEP IT GOING LADIES AND GENTS! NEXT PERSON! NEXT PERSON!"

Gibby hopped off the table, and jogged over to Carly. The brunette was whiter than snow, panic-stricken with fear.

""See, do it just like that," Gibby said. He was huffing and puffing. "It's a small gap, but it's not that bad, right?"

Carly shook like a rattle.

Gibby made a silent, impromptu prayer. He watched as his Uncle Gavin leapt onto the table. Despite his introversion at dinner, Gavin was a live wire in front of an audience. All Gibsons were when it came to tabletop dancing.

"_Go, go, _

_Round he goes,_

_Where will he end up, _

_No one knows._

_Go, go, _

_Round he goes,_

_Where will he end up,_

_Round he GOES!"_

Gavin hopped along the narrow aisle way. Slowly, very slowly, Carly joined in the clapping.

"_Go, go, _

_Round he goes,_

_Where will he end up, _

_No one knows._

_Go, go, _

_Round he goes,_

_Where will he end up,_

_Gavin GO!"_

Another platter went sailing off the table. The Gibsons hooted and hollered. Gavin jumped off the table and joined the others, slapping several hands upon landing.

"DON'T BE SHY FOLKS! WHO'S NEXT?"

In a surprising twist, Philip tumbled onto the table next. It appeared David Schwimmer would have to wait. Carly couldn't help but feel inspired by the boy's brave act. If Philip, who the whole family utterly reviled, could do this, then so could she.

Once Philip made it on top of the table, the clapping immediately stopped. So did the singing. Philip danced all the way to one end and back, but the only sound to be heard was his feet clopping against the wood. When he had done this for some time, he froze in place. He glared angrily at his silent adopted relatives. Philip kicked the closest platter he could find, hopped off the table, and stormed away.

When he was out of sight, the clapping started up once again.

"DON'T KEEP ME WAITING GIBSONS! NEXT VICTIM, COME ON UP!"

"Carly wants to go next!" Gibbriella shouted.

The clapping faltered for a few seconds, then resumed. The family didn't seem too keen on letting Carly dance next.

"Wait, no I don't!" Carly shot back.

"Carly, you've been called out." Gibby said. "You have to go, you can't turn it down."

"Come on Carly, let's get this over with," Uncle Gibson said. Ever since the mishap with Gladys, he had become significantly less fond of the webstar. Taking a nervous gulp, Carly trudged over to the table.

"Let's go Carly!" Gibby cheered. Carly glanced back at him. He gave her a motivational bob of the head.

"Yeah, let's go Carly," Gibbriella said. She sneered at the brunette and pulled out her cell-phone, aiming it intimidatingly at Carly's head. Carly pretended to ignore her. She sidled up to the edge of the table, to the clearing between the platters. Two hands clasped the edge.

"You can do it Carly!" Gladys smiled her encouragement. Carly smiled back. In spite of the incident, at least Gladys still liked her.

"Shake a leg," Guppy said. Carly noticed a distinctly less intelligent gleam in his eyes. _Wow, I guess he really is getting stupider_.

In one, swift movement, Carly climbed on the table. She almost surprised herself, since normally she wasn't very athletic. As she rose to her feet, she scanned the crowd until she found Gibby. _Focus on Gibby. Whatever you do, just focus on Gibby_. Carly's heart was beating like a jackhammer.

The singing began. Carly closed her eyes while she listened to the chant.

"_Go, go, _

_Round she goes,_

_Where will she end up, _

_No one knows._

_Go, go, _

_Round she goes,_

_Where will she end up,_

_Round she GOES!"_

_This is it. Don't screw up Carly._ Carly's eyes burst open. Pinning her gaze on Gibby, she began skipping along the table. It was difficult not to step on any of the platters, but somehow she managed to do it.

"_Go, go, _

_Round she goes,_

_Where will she end up, _

_No one knows._

_Go, go, _

_Round she goes..."_

_I'm doing it, I'm doing it. Focus on the platters. Focus on the platters._

_"...Where will she end up,_

_Carly GO!"_

Carly swung back and kicked the nearest platter with all her might.

The platter shattered against Gladys' face, sending her back-first onto the ground.

"_NO!"_

Carly zoomed off the table to Gibby's fallen cousin. Miraculously, the girl wasn't cut, but her nose was bleeding profusely and Carly had the bad feeling that it was broken.

"Gladys, can you hear me?"

"Yeah," Gladys groaned in a plugged voice. She covered her bruised septum. "Ohhh, my nose!"

"Don't worry, I'll help you up." In a blind panic, Carly grabbed Gladys by the wrist and tried hauling her to her feet.

Unfortunately, the grass was still wet from the Peppy Colas. Instead of hauling Gladys to her feet, Carly ended up slipping on the grass herself. Quite unintentionally, Carly's grip on Gladys' wrist tightened out of reflex, and Gladys was sent whirling through the air in a nasty arc, only to be slammed back down on the ground.

The Gibsons gasped. To them, it looked like something out of an MMA fight.

Gladys went horribly silent after the impact. Carly remained on the grass for several seconds, the wind knocked out of her. Comprehension soon dawned on her, and she shot to her feet. Gladys wasn't moving.

"Nine-one-one?" Aunt Gabriella was talking into her cell-phone. "I need an ambulance. My niece was on the receiving end of a Ferris Wheel. No, no, the wrestling move. Yes, like the one Shelby Marx does."

Carly couldn't move either. Of all the people she had to accidentally give a Ferris Wheel to, why did it have to be Gladys? Why couldn't it have happened to someone who deserved it, like Gibbriella? Or Grandma Gibson? Or…any of these other people who she never had a chance with in the first place, and who would now hate her guts forever?

Carly clutched her stomach. It burbled dangerously with meatloaf. Catching on, the others slowly backed away.

"Nooo," Carly whined.

Her stomach burbled again.

"Noooooooooo," she whined once more, this time louder.

The burbling intensified. The others backed away even further.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo."

* * *

The siren wailed as it went off into the distance, carrying the semi-conscious Gibson girl along with it. Gladys had come to for long enough to give her family the thumbs-up and smile weakly at Carly. Gladys still harbored no ill-feelings for the brunette. As for the rest of the Gibsons…

"Why do I have to clean up the meatloaf puke?" Gibbriella complained. She was on her hands and knees in the grass with a towel and a bucket. Pure disgust was written on her face.

"Cause no one likes you," Guppy said. He rubbed his head. His intelligence was waning at an alarmingly fast rate, and this had put him in a very sour mood.

"At least my brain doesn't unfold in an intellectually toxic atmosphere."

"At least I wasn't named after a _boy_!"

Carly meanwhile had her head buried in Gibby's chest once again. She had cried until her tears ran dry, but she couldn't quite put herself back together yet.

"Carly, it's okay."

"No it's not!" Carly withdrew her head. "I just broke her body."

"Accidents happen," Gibby said. "It was obvious you didn't do it on purpose. Besides, Gladys is always getting injured like that."

"Really?"

"Well, no." Gibby racked his brains. "But she did get hit by a taco truck once while riding her bike."

The oddity of this statement jolted Carly out of her misery. "Jeez, what is it with taco trucks?"

Gibby shrugged. "I don't know."

"Alright Gibsons," Uncle Gibson said. Tousle-haired and exhausted, the man looked like he had been through a battle. "Now, due to this very…unfortunate incident…"

The others turned to glare at Carly.

"I suggest we postpone the dancing."

The Gibsons groaned.

"We'll resume it later. However," Uncle Gibson raised a finger in the air. "However, although Gladys will be missed, she would have wanted us to go on. Therefore, we will move on to the games."

Carly's heart skipped a beat. _Uh-oh_.

"Carly, you remembered to think of a game, right?"

"Uhhhhh." Gibby's face went ashen.

"Now," Uncle Gibson said. "As the moderator of this family reunion, I will pick the first participant. So, who will it be?" Uncle Gibson's eyes went through the crowd person-by-person.

_Please don't pick me, please don't pick me, please don't pick me_.

"I piiiiiiick…"

_Pleasedon'tpickme, pleasedon'tpickme, pleasedon'tpickme_.

"Carly, c'mon let's get you out of the way."

"NO!" Carly shouted. The others started at her outburst.

"Let's go," Uncle Gibson said. "C'mon, Gladys is gone, so you can't inflict anymore bodily harm. Let's go, middle of the circle."

"Get into the circle," Gibby prodded. Gingerly, he pushed his girlfriend forward, so that she was surrounded by all the others. He hoped she thought of something, and fast.

"Uhhhhhh," Carly said.

"Do you have any props?" Uncle Gibson asked.

"Props?" Uncle Gibson's eyes bulged.

"Jeez Louise girl, yeah, props. You know, for your game?"

"I…"

"You thought of a game, right?"

"I…"

"Yes she did!" Gibby exclaimed. The others studied him skeptically. "Yes she did. She was telling me about it on the way over. She's just…nervous."

Carly desperately locked gazes with Gibby. Her boyfriend pleaded with her the best he could, knowing that his hands were tied. There was nothing he could do for her now.

Carly nervously spun on her heel. The sea of faces swam before her. Never in her life had she felt so out of place, disliked, and on the spot. She had to come up with something. Anything. But the harder she tried to think, the less she could think of. Her mind was a blank slate.

"Uhhhhh…"

_Come on Carly, think, think_.

An idea came to mind. A ridiculous idea. An idea that was so ridiculous, it made her even more afraid. Try though she might, she could not banish the idea, and nothing else was coming to her.

"O-okay," Carly said. "Okay. Everyone. I'm going to lead you in…a sing-along."

A multitude of groans caused Carly's heart to plummet even further. But she had already stated her plan. She couldn't go back on it now."

"Okay," Carly said. Reluctance didn't even come close. "R-Repeat after me."

Carly resisted the urge to cry. With a trembling lip, she formed the letter 'F' with her fingers. _Please work_.

"'_F' is for friends who do stuff together."_

Carly now formed a 'U._' _

"'_U' is for you and meeee." _

Last was the 'N.'

"'_N' is for anywhere and any time at all, _

_Down here in the deep blue seeeaaaa._

The Gibsons stared at Carly like she had corn growing out of her hair.

"Now everyone?"

Seeing that their girlfriend and friend, respectively, was in trouble, Gibby and Guppy started forming the letters.

"'_F' is for friends who do stuff together,_

'_U' is for you and meeee,_

'_N' is for anywhere and any time at all, _

_Down here in the deep blue seeeaaa."_

No one besides Gibby and Guppy had joined along. In the middle of the circle, Carly registered this with growing unease. She struggled to hold on as she initiated the song a second time.

"'F' is for…" Her finger-'F' quivered. "…'F' is for… …'F' is for…" Her 'F' fell apart.

Carly dashed from the circle. Picking her shirt up from the grass near the table, she ran off into the distance.

**Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly, it's characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.**

**AN: The next and final chapter will be a little more serious, and more shippy. Will Carly come back? Will Philip come back? Will there be more Spongebob Squarepants songs? I know I didn't answer any of the questions from the previous chapter, but who knows, maybe this time, I will!**


	4. Return of the Shay: Part 1

**Return of the Shay: Part 1**

Uncle Gibson's house was in the middle of a quiet suburban neighborhood. The street was called 'Maple Lawn.' An appropriate name because on just about every lawn, there was at least one aged, behemoth of a maple tree. If you went due west on Maple Lawn, you wound up at a small, local park. Its name was Oak Park. An appropriate name because just about every square foot of land in Oak Park was covered with oak trees. Oak Park was little more than a path through the woods.

As you went down this little more than a path through the woods, you occasionally came across small and weathered wooden signs. They bore numbers, like 0.5, 1.0, 1.5 and 2.0. These were mile markers. Somewhere in between the half-mile and mile-marker, there was a clearing to the left side of the path. In the clearing was a battered, antiquated swing set.

Now rumor had it that the swing set suddenly appeared one day. One minute, there was just an empty clearing, and the next, there was a swing set. Supposedly it was built by an old man who used to live next door to Oak Park. The old man lived in his house next door to the park for many years, with his wife whom he loved. They never had any children, so they poured all their unfulfilled affection into each other.

But one cold, winter night, after battling a long time with an undiagnosed illness, the wife died. The old man was heart-broken. He had no family, no off-spring, no one else in his life to share his world with. He was a carpenter by trade, and over the years he had built many things. In their last years together, he and his wife had been wracked so badly with arthritis that they could no longer share a bed. Both required their own, narrow one so they could easily get in and out. The old couple didn't have much money, so the man built the bases for the beds out of wood. Aching hands and all.

No one saw the man again after the wife died. They learned about it sometime later in the obituaries. A few had woken up to the sound of a siren screeching down Maple Lawn on that cold winter night, squealing to a halt in front of the old man's house. But after they went back to sleep and woke up again, he was gone. The house was empty. The property was deserted. And in Oak Park, in the clearing to the left side of the path, in between where there would later be signs marked '0.5' and '1.0', there was suddenly a swing set.

Some said the swings themselves were made from planks cut up from larger ones. The size of those larger planks may have been the appropriate length for the base of a bed. Perhaps the old man wanted the remains of what supported his wife's ailing body for so long to start supporting something else. Life.

At least, that was how the rumor went.

Now Carly didn't know this little piece of debatable history, but nevertheless, she was swinging on one of the set's wooden seats. The planks of the seat creaked as she went to and fro, but she paid it no mind. Her thoughts were elsewhere.

_Creak-creak. Creak-creak._

_They hate me_. The girl's head was bowed down low. Even though there was no one around, she positioned herself like this out of reflex, to prevent anyone from seeing her.

_Creak-creak. Creak-creak._

_I tried so hard to get them to like me, but they hate me. _

_Creak-creak. Creak-creak._

_And now I ran out on Gibby. I promised him that I would stay no matter what, and I just ran out on him. Like all the others. Now he probably hates me too._

_Creak-creak. Creak-creak._

Carly let her head fall into her hands. It was hard to believe that just a week ago, she was pretending to seduce a giant depiction of her boyfriend posted on her bedroom wall. Now, she wasn't even sure what the future of Gibby and her would be. Would Gibby forgive her for running off like that? She had given him her word after all. Would he honestly choose her over his own family, no matter how nasty they were? Carly's granddad could be harsh sometimes. Carly wondered what she would do if she was forced to choose between him and Gibby.

"I'm sorry Gibby," Carly sighed. She resumed swinging.

_Creak-creak. Creak-creak._

_I wonder what he's doing now?_

* * *

"This is a disaster," Gibby said. He was talking in undertones with his brother while the other Gibsons milled around, unsure what to do next. "There goes another one. Right out the door."

"What are you going to do Gibby?" Guppy asked. Although it had become increasingly difficult to comprehend abstractions, he still managed to grasp his brother's situation.

"I don't know," Gibby said. He began pacing back and forth. "I just…" Gibby threw his hands up in frustration. "I really liked her, okay? I really, really liked her, and now that my crazy family scared her off, there's no way she'll want to stay together with me."

"Maybe not. Maybe if she really likes you the way you like her, she'll…she'll…" Guppy balled up his fists. He clearly forgot what he was going to say.

"Maybe she'll come back?" Gibby finished for him. Guppy nodded dolefully. "Yeah, you're right Guppy, I have to stay positive. She'll come back. I know she will."

Gibby looked determinedly in the direction where Carly had fled. _Though none of them have ever come back before._

"Alright Gibsons!" Uncle Gibson was addressing the family once more. "Since it seems we…lost one of our members, I think it's time that I as moderator concluded this evening's family reunion."

"Finally," Gibbriella said. "This was the worst reunion ever."

"Oh no!" Gibby stared at his brother. "If Uncle Gibson ends the reunion, even if Carly comes back, they'll never let her live it down."

"Therefore," Uncle Gibson said. "I hereby declare this Gibson family reunion…"

"We have to stall him. Guppy, if there's still anything left in that beefy brain of yours, I could really use it now."

Guppy clapped his hands against his temples.

"I'm getting dumber every second! I…I got nothing."

"…Officially…" Once Uncle Gibson said 'over,' it was done.

_Come on Gibby, you gotta think of something!_

"Ov–"

"Wait!"

Uncle Gibson and the others looked to the source of the interruption. Gibby stepped forward, so that they all knew it was him.

"Wait," Gibby repeated. "We can't end the reunion yet."

"Can't end the –" Uncle Gibson narrowed his eyes at his nephew. "Now Gibby, look, we may have been a little harsh to your girlfriend, but she ran off. In the middle of her game. So, how can the rest of us continue?"

"That's exactly my point," Gibby said. "She didn't finish her game. And since not one game has been completed yet, we can't end the reunion."

The others glanced at Uncle Gibson.

"Uhhhhhhhh," Uncle Gibson said.

"Grandma," Gibby flagged down his grandmother. "Can you go get the rule book?"

Grandma Gibson squinted her eyes at her grandson.

"There's a mule in my brook?"

Gibby gritted his teeth.

"NO! CAN YOU _GO _GET THE _RULE BOOK?_"

Grandma Gibson put her hand over her eyes.

"Well, when did he get there? I don't see any mules."

Gibby snarled like a cobra. He flung his gaze at Gibbriella. "Gibbriella! Can you please _go_ get the rule book?"

A sarcastic expression grew on Gibbriella's face. "You want me to go give _who_ a dirty _look_?"

"GET. THE. RULE-BOOK!"

Gibbriella growled at Gibby before storming off. "You think you can treat me like Philip, but you can't!"

"Darn right I can," Gibby mumbled.

Several minutes passed until Gibbriella returned. She carried an old, leather-bound book in her arms. It was aptly titled, The Rulebook. Muttering under her breath, Gibbriella handed the book over to Uncle Gibson. The fat man flipped through the pages, quickly skimming over the contents. He stopped at some point slightly more than halfway through the book. He stayed at this page for a long time.

"Well?" Gibby prompted.

Uncle Gibson closed the book, a bit harder than was necessary. "He's right," he conceded.

"_Thank_ you," Gibby said. "Now, traditionally, after the first person is chosen to start the games, the rest of us can take our turns at will. So I'm sharing my game next."

"Alright Gibby," Uncle Gibson said. He sounded reluctant, though not overtly angry. "You're up."

The scattered Gibsons rebuilt the circle. Gibby stood in the middle. The game he had been planning to share would be too short to buy Carly enough time, so he had to think of something else on the fly.

"Gibby," someone whispered. Guppy. "What are you going to do?"

Gibby stared sadly at his brother.

"Do you have to ask?"

* * *

_Creak-creak. Creak-creak_.

_I really like this swing_. Carly had never ridden a wooden swing before, but she was surprised at how comfortable it was. Whoever had made it must have used a lot of love and care. She also liked the way the wind blew her hair as she swung back and forth. No matter how chaotic everything else became, the wind still always blew.

On two or three occasions already, Carly had decided to get off the swing and return to the Gibson's, only to put one foot on the ground and lose her nerve. She was so used to people liking her; she didn't know what to do when faced with the opposite situation. She wanted to go back to Gibby, to show him how much he meant to her, but she just couldn't do it.

She found herself thinking about Gibby a lot while she swung.

_-Enter Flashback-_

"Hi. I'm Gibby."

The little brown-haired girl, who was sitting sprawled on the classroom floor, gazed up at the boy. He was the odd one. No one knew for sure what his real name was, but they all called him 'Gibby,' as he had just told her. As usual, Gibby was not wearing a shirt.

"Hey," the girl said. She smiled sort of half-heartedly. "I'm Carly." Her gazed settled back on the floor.

The odd shirtless boy cocked his head to the side. This little girl wasn't sitting with the other children. In fact, she hadn't sat with the other children all day. Something had to be wrong with her.

"Do you have rabies?"

The little girl's forehead wrinkled.

"What's that?"

Gibby shrugged. "I don't know. But, I got bit by a raccoon one time, and, they didn't let play with anyone for a looooong time."

"Oh." Carly went quiet for a moment. "My brother got bit by a raccoon once."

"Did he get rabies?"

"No. He just bit the raccoon back. He wasn't allowed to play with anyone for a long time either."

"Oh."

An awkward silence passed between the two children. Gibby was the first to break it.

"Why are you sitting there?"

Carly pulled her gaze away from Gibby and went into fetal position.

"'Cause I'm scared," came her muffled voice.

Gibby frowned. "Why?"

"I don't have any attention."

"What's attention?"

"I don't know! But my brother told me that when I got here, I had to pay attention to the teacher."

"What does that mean?"

Carly curled up into an even tighter ball. "I don't know, but I only have pennies. "What if the teacher doesn't want my money?"

Gibby became hysterical. "We have to pay the teacher?"

Carly unfurled herself and nodded vigorously. "Yeah. And if I go over with the other kids, he might get mad because I don't have any attention."

"Oh no!" Gibby began pacing in circles. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know!"

"We have to think of something." Gibby completed several more circles before finally stopping. He knew that it was bad to lie, but he also didn't want to get in trouble for failing to pay the teacher. He overheard his mom say once that bad things happened when you don't pay what you're supposed to. And if he didn't do anything now, bad things might happen to Carly as well.

"I got a idea," Gibby said. He peered down at Carly, who gazed back at him with large, frightful eyes. "Here's what we're going to do."

Mr. Diddle-biscuit noticed sometime later that two of his students were missing. He was already regretting his decision to join the teaching profession; the students would _not_ stop making fun of his name. And that shirtless boy was a maniac. If the next day of class was at all like this one, he swore he would pack his things, get his PhD, and become an art historian like he always wanted to. At least art sat still.

Mr. Diddle-biscuit frowned. The little Shay girl had stayed by herself all day. This in itself wasn't unusual. He discovered as he trained for his degree that small children could be very shy, especially when getting used to a new environment. But if that pint-sized, shirtless psychopath was walking around, stirring up trouble, something had to be done.

So Mr. Diddle-biscuit walked across the room to see what was going on with the two children. When he got there, he found Carly and Gibby lying on the floor, coughing and moaning.

"Oh," Carly groaned. She had her eyes shut tight as if in pain, and was clutching her stomach.

"Oh Mr. Fiddle-brisket," Gibby said. Unlike the other students, Gibby meant no disrespect; he just couldn't pronounce his name. "This raccoon came and gave us rabies."

"And then he stole all our attention, so now we can't pay you," Carly added.

Mr. Diddle-biscuit quit his job the next day.

-_Exit Flashback-_

* * *

"Alright, from the top." Gibby stared at all his relatives expectantly.

"Do we really have to do this?" Uncle Gibson whined. Most of the others were equally unenthused about Gibby's game.

"Yeah, you do," Gibby said. "The Rule-Book says I can take up to an hour to do my game, provided that I can keep the game consistent and not run out of ideas."

"Alright, fine."

'_F' is for friends that do stuff together,_

'_U' is for you and me,_

'_N' is for anywhere and anytime at all,_

_Down here in the deep blue sea._

In the back of the crowd, Gibbriella kept as low a profile as possible. She didn't want anyone else to know, but she really, _really _liked the F.U.N. song.

* * *

_Creak-creak. Creak-creak._

_-Enter Flashback-_

"I'm sorry Gibby."

Carly and Gibby were standing alone in the iCarly studio. They had gotten back from the Cheesecake Warehouse a little less than fifteen ago, where Gibby had sent Shannon Mitchell fleeing for her life. Sam and Freddie had fled the restaurant too, but Carly, who still felt bad for her friend, hung around outside until Gibby came out. That girl who 'liked his moves' and danced with him lifted his spirits a little, but he was still feeling a bit down.

"It's okay," Gibby said. He was observing his shoes. "Actually, me and Shannon didn't have much in common. You know, once we actually started talking." Gibby's voice lowered. "I guess that's why I feel disappointed."

"Well…don't be sad." Carly struggled to find the right words. "You know, there's…plenty of fish in the sea."

"I'm actually allergic to fish."

"You know what I mean!" Carly snapped.

Gibby held up his hands in surrender. "I know." He let his hands fall. "I know." He was about to walk out of the studio, when he turned around. "And thanks. You know, for setting it up. And talking to me just now."

"You're welcome," Carly said softly. She felt so bad for him, but she just didn't know what to say."

"Who knows?" Gibby chuckled. "Maybe one day you and me will go out."

Silence.

"Yeah, let's not hope for miracles Gibby."

"Hey, it could happen."

_-Exit Flashback-_

* * *

Sam and Freddie lay collapsed on the Shay's sofa, huffing and puffing. On the floor lay a half-empty bottle of lotion. The bottle was so crumpled and disfigured, it was barely recognizable.

"Wow," Sam said. She could barely get the words out. "What a rash."

"Yeah," Freddie wheezed. He coughed into his shirt sleeve. "Thanks Sam. I owe you. I mean…other than the part where you…kept it from me so long it…almost got…infected…I owe you. I could have never reached those places."

"Yeah," Sam said. "Spencer's a real wimp huh?"

"The wimpiest." Feeling exhausted, Freddie stole a glance at the blonde. She was wiping the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. Oddly, he never found her more attractive.

"You know," Freddie said. He put his hands behind his head, keeping his gaze straight ahead. "With your hair all wet and…sticky like that…you look kinda hot."

"Thanks. You know…you're the first guy I ever saw…completely naked…and I gotta say…it wasn't so bad."

"Thanks." Freddie let out a deep sigh. "Whew." He peered down at the misshapen bottle. "So what do you want to do now?"

"I don't know." Sam had almost recovered her breath. "But we're all alone, and there's half a bottle of lotion left. I'm sure we'll think of something."

* * *

"_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G Song. And if you don't think that we can sing it faster than you're wrong, but it'll help if, you just sing, along."_

Guppy, who was by far the dumbest person at the reunion now, provided the voice of Patrick Star.

"_Bum, bum, bum…"_

"_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G Song. C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G Song. And if you don't think that we can sing it faster than you're wrong, but it'll help if, you just sing, along."_

Gibby was long since out of breath. _Man, I don't know how many more Spongebob songs I can come up with._

* * *

_Creak-creak. Creak-creak._

_-Enter Flashback-_

"I just can't believe it," Carly said. She was unaware of it, but she and Gibby were in almost the exact same positions in the iCarly studio as the time after Gibby scared off Shannon. "Freddie's not in love with me anymore."

Freddie had left the Shay's loft not more than a half-hour ago. It started out as a normal afternoon, with him and Carly watching _Celebrities Under Water_. Then, right before he left, Freddie dropped the bomb. Like it was an afterthought. As had become habit recently, when something major happened, Carly found herself calling Gibby. Shortly afterward, her friend arrived at the front door, and they made their way up to the studio.

"Are you disappointed?" Gibby asked.

"No," Carly said. "I'm a little confused, but I'm not disappointed. I mean, I never…really felt the same way about him. Just that one time after the accident, and I think it was like he said. I was in love with what he did."

"Then why's it a problem?"

"It's not!" Carly shook her head. Comprehending her feelings was a struggle. "It's just so…weird. He's loved me since the day he met me, and now it's just…gone."

Gibby shrugged. "I don't know. Things change I guess."

This statement struck Carly somehow. Given her state of emotional turbulence however, she couldn't pinpoint the precise way it struck her. When she looked at Gibby, who stood there with his hands in his pockets, staring at the floor and thinking, it slowly began to make sense.

"Yeah," Carly said. A light blush colored her cheeks. "Things do change, don't they?"

Gibby stopped his ruminating. A line formed between his brows. "What do you mean?"

Carly folded her hands together. For some reason, she felt so girly all of a sudden. "You remember what you said to me the last time we were alone like this? You know, here in the studio?"

Gibby stuck his hands out at his sides. He honestly couldn't remember. "No."

"You said that maybe one day, we'd go out."

Gibby frowned. "Did I say that?"

Carly chuckled, bowing her head. "Yeah." The brunette studied the floor. "You know…you used to take off your shirt a lot back then."

"Yeah, I know. I guess I kind of outgrew it."

"Things change," Carly laughed. She continued her observation of the floor. "But you know…" she trailed off. "You could…take it off again. You know…if you wanted to."

"No thanks, I'm good."

Any gentility in Carly's manner went flying out the window.

"Take off your shirt Gibby!"

"Wh – Carly, why are you–"

Carly snatched the unwanted material covering Gibby's torso in both hands.

"I haven't seen the goods in a while, and I wanna see 'em. Now TAKE IT OFF!"

Gibby began blubbering. "You're hurting me."

The next day, they started going out.

_-Exit Flashback-_

Carly smiled at the last of the flashbacks. She was standing with both feet on the ground now, a few steps in front of the swing set. She and Gibby had a good run, that was for sure. If she chickened out on going back to the Gibsons and never patched things up with Gibby, at least they had some good memories. That was something, right?

"Carly?"

Carly was so deep in thought, the arrival of a visitor failed to startle her. When she looked and saw who it was though, her blood cooled. Philip. Even though he hadn't been mean to her like the others, she hadn't exactly done anything when the Gibsons kept ignoring him.

"What are you doing out here?"

Carly let her gaze fall to the ground. Although she remembered only bits and pieces, she felt like she once did as a little preschooler. Scared about what might happen, and not wanting to be around people.

"That's okay," Philip said. He stopped a few feet in front of Carly. He put his hands in his pockets. "I'm used to people ignoring me, so don't worry about it."

Carly wanted to say she was sorry, but had a difficult time finding her voice. This happened sometimes when she felt sad.

"It really used to bother me when people ignored me. Well, actually, it still kind of does, but I've learned how to cope."

The brunette didn't know how to respond. She had never quite been in the same situation as Philip.

"You know, Gibby's back there trying to stop Uncle Gibson from ending the reunion. I heard him telling his brother he thought you were coming back. Even though no one ever has before."

The urge to cry hit Carly. With what little pride she had left though, she didn't want to break down in front of someone she barely knew. So she picked up a few twigs and leaves off the ground and began fiddling with them, concentrating intensely and trying not to tear up.

"Look, I know they treated you bad, okay? They were way out of line, and they had no right to be that way. But if you don't go back there, you're going to let them win."

Carly's little construction project had suddenly become the most important thing in the world.

"You wanna why I just showed up one day and started living there?" Philip's voice softened considerably. "I stayed there because I knew that every once and a while, I'd get to see Guppy, Gladys, and Gibby, and I knew that even if the others hated me, at least they were nice to me. Well, that and the fact that there weren't any spare bedrooms at Gibby or Gladys' houses. But mostly, it was Guppy, Gladys and Gibby."

A buzzing sound emanated from Philip's pockets.

"Jeez, I wonder who's calling me," Philip muttered to himself. "I'm surprised I can even get a signal out here. Hello? Hello…Mr. Schwimmer, hey what's going on? Yeah, I'm sorry I'm late; I got kinda held up. David? Look I'm sorry, but I had a family reunion today. "Yeah, I _know_ I told you I'd be there for dinner, but I got delayed. Hello? David. _David_. DAVID! You know what? You know what, if you're going to yell…if you're going to yell, I'm just gonna take my meatloaf and I'm gonna eat somewhere else, okay? I will GO somewhere else. Oh…oh well that's real mature. That's real mature David. You know what? SO ARE YOU! …Ok_ay_, I'll meet you at the Groovy Smoothie in thirty minutes."

Philip shook his head as he terminated the call. "Man, what's _with_ that guy?" Philip glanced one last time at Carly.

"Anyway, if you decide to go back, you better do it soon. Gibby can't hold out much longer." Philip was starting to walk away when he turned around. He eyed Carly's 'construction project.'

"Hey," Philip said. "You're _really_ good, you know that. _Really _good. I wish I could work with my hands like you." Philip wrapped his arms around himself as he walked away. "Brrrr, sure is windy this evening."

Carly stared down at her project. In her hands, made out of thin twigs, leaf stems and leafs, was a perfectly assembled, miniature kite. She never built a kite before, but somehow she had just known how to do it. And it _was_ good, she had to admit.

In that moment, as Carly peered down at her hands, she realized that she had some of her brother's talent. Maybe she couldn't draw to save her life, but she could work with her hands. And like the wind, despite everything else that was going on, she could always rely on it

'_I don't know. Things change I guess.'_

A fierce smile formed on Carly's face. She was going back to Uncle Gibson's. She was going to get back Gibby, she was going to leave on her own terms, and before she left, she was going to raise some hell. If Gibby was really short time like Philip had said, then going back on foot might take too long. But since she had a newly discovered talent…

Carly stared a long time at her little kite. An idea swung through her mind. _Swung _was the key word. And the idea began with pulling out her Pear phone, finding Sam's number, and dialing it.

Because if you were going to raise hell, it always helped to bring a demon along.

**Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly, it's characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.**

**AN: Okay, I lied. The next chapter will be the last one. Will Carly raise some hell? Will Philip and David Schwimmer ever reconcile? Will...ah, I'm sick of asking you questions!**


	5. Return of the Shay: Part 2

**Return of the Shay: Part 2**

Black. The sky was black. Night had descended, and a terrible night it promised to be. Heat rose off the ghostly pale grass. Lightening forked through the sky, filling the earth with a crackling, luminescent intensity. The air teemed with tension. Not even the rustling of rodent feet, or the beating of owl wings were to be heard. All was deathly silent. The perfect night for a girl to come-of-age and exact revenge on a rotten family.

At least, that was the weather in Baltimore. In Seattle, it was actually quite nice.

* * *

Carly had to wait approximately four seconds before Sam picked up. When she did however, it wasn't Sam that Carly heard, but a very loud masculine voice that sounded shockingly familiar.

"OH! OH YES! OH YES! I LOVE MY LOTION! I _LOVE _MY LOTION! _I LOVE MY LOTION!"_

"Freddie?"Carly squeaked. This was certainly an unexpected surprise. Slowly, a mental image formed in her head."OH MY _GOD_, WHAT WERE YOU DOING?"

"WHAT THE–"

Carly couldn't be quite sure, but she thought she heard the thudding of Sam's phone against the floor. For the next several seconds, Carly caught snippets of harsh whispering. From what Carly could gather, Sam had meant to pick up the phone just to see who was calling, but instead accidentally answered it.

"H-hello?" It was Sam.

"_What_ were you doing just now?" Carly snapped.

"Uh…giving Freddie a bath?"

"What were you bathing him _with_?"

Sam went very quiet, just like she always did when caught red-handed.

"…Something naughty."

"Well, quit your…naughty business and pay attention! I need your help!"

"Yeah, totally, I'm, I'm on it. Just…can you give me a sec?"

"Give you a sec for what, what are you–"

Carly heard a loud whack, followed by a howl from Freddie, though he sounded almost happy.

"Hey, I'm back," Sam said.

"Did-Did you just _spank _him?"

"Sorry, it's just – you know, I'm just all jazzed up right now and it's kind of hard to turn it off once I get started, you know what I mean?"

"Well stop spanking our tech producer! I'm _trying_ to have a conversation with you!"

"Okay, got it. No spanking."

"Or anything else of the suggestive sort!"

"Alright, I'm all yours kid. Talk to me."

"Ugh." It took Carly a moment to control herself. "Listen, I need your help."

" Shoot."

"I need you to get here as fast as you can."

"Where am I going?"

"Gibby's Uncle's house. I'll text you the address in a minute. It should only take you ten to fifteen minutes to get here if you step on it."

"Ah, so I'd be required to drive."

"Why, is that a problem? Sam?"

Sam made no attempt to respond to this.

"Okay, _what_ happened to your license?"

"It…got taken away."

"Then just let Freddie drive!"

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Why not?"

"I spanked him kinda hard that last time, and I think he might be bleeding."

"The YOU drive, and don't you DARE get caught!"

"Alright, just sit tight. Mama's comin' for you. Even though I have no idea why I'm doing this."

"I'll explain in a sec. Now listen, before you get here, I need you to pick someone up for me."

"Harrison Ford?"

"No."

"But I like Harrison Ford."

"Focus! We're running out of time."

A minute later, Sam put down her phone. In the bathtub, a very slippery Freddie was staring at her with a big frown. He proffered an empty bottle in his hand.

"Aww," he said. "We're out of lotion."

* * *

"_It'll heeeeeeeeeelp. It'll heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp. If you just sing aloooooooonnnnnnng!"_

Gibby crumpled on the grass, deprived of oxygen and beyond exhaustion. He hated to admit it, but his hour was up. He failed. He gave it everything he had, but in the end it didn't matter. Carly hadn't made it in time, and Uncle Gibson was going to terminate the reunion. He lost.

"It's time Gibby," Uncle Gibson said. He peered down at his fallen nephew, and then at the rest of the Gibsons, who were not quite as exhausted as Gibby but still thoroughly tired. "We sang those…ridiculous songs for over an hour. I'm tired, and so is the rest of the family. I think it's time we ended this reunion."

"No," Gibby gasped. He struggled to get back to his feet, but he just fell back down. "We can't end the reunion. Not like this."

"It's over Gibby!" Aunt Gabriella sidled up next to her husband. "Your little girlfriend ruined our dinner, ruined our dancing, and ruined our games, and then she left. Frankly, we've had enough and we'd like to call it a night."

"N-no," Gibby whispered. "You're, you're wrong." _Darn it, why won't my legs work?_

"She put Gladys in the hospital!" Gibbriella exclaimed. "You saw it; she gave her a frickin' Ferris Wheel for cripes sake!"

"Sh-shut up." An ember flickered to life inside Gibby. "Shut up."

"She threatened our souls!" said Genevieve and Gunner.

The ember grew bigger.

"She gaped at my bosoms!" said Grandma Gibson.

And bigger.

"She questioned my meatloaf!" said Aunt Gabriella.

And bigger.

"Uh-oh," Guppy said. He could spot the deadly calm coming from his brother a mile away. When Gibby got that quiet and still, it only meant one thing. "I better hide!" Guppy ran for the hills.

"Gibby," Uncle Gibson said. Unlike the others, he didn't look outright angry, but rather, he looked sympathetic. Uncle Gibson scooted down and put his arm around the laying boy's shoulders. He thought it was his imagination, but the kid seemed to be burning up. Like a building fire.

"Gibby," Uncle Gibson repeated. "Look, I know it's hard that none of your girlfriends have worked out but…well, maybe you just haven't met the right one yet."

The ember exploded. Gibby shot to his feet, sending his Uncle pin-wheeling backward. The Gibson boy glared down his family with the force of an active volcano.

"I'VE HAD IT!"

The scene went completely silent except for the raging adolescent.

"I am DISGUSTED with all of you!" Gibby paused to let his words sink in. Tears were streaming down his face. "Every single one, EVERY SINGLE _ONE_ of my girlfriends, you guys have driven off, and now, the one time I bring someone that actually matters to me, you scare her off too!"

Gibbriella stared at her cousin with disbelief. "Gibby, c-mon, we were just–"

"NO!" Gibby's tone left no room for argument. "I sat here this whole evening while you guys bullied Carly, and I didn't even do anything! I just sat back and made excuses for your guys! Well I'm NOT doing it anymore! I didn't even want to come here today, but Carly talked me into it because she was _so_ excited meet all of you!" Gibby said that last part very sarcastically.

"And I let her talk me into it because I was too afraid to stand up to you guys. WELL GUESS WHAT? I'm standing up, and I'm standing up to you guys RIGHT here, and RIGHT now!"

The deeper emotions within Gibby began to seep out.

"Carly was the best thing that ever happened to me! The best thing! If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have the confidence I needed to make the friends that I did! I'd still be alone, without _anyone_! And because she did that for me, I REFUSE to let you mistreat her anymore!"

Gibby took one final pause. What he said next would send shock-waves down the family forever.

"When I see Carly again, whether she comes back herself or whether I have to search the ends of the earth to find her and drag her back, we are leaving. I don't care when you end the reunion anymore." Gibby turned his attention to his Uncle. "Uncle Gibson. I would like to revoke my status as a Gibson family member."

A gasp echoed through the Gibsons. Uncle Gibson found the revelation so shocking, it downright confused him.

"Gibby, you… you can't be serious."

The look Gibby gave Uncle Gibson convinced him he was anything but.

"I am serious."

"But…Gibby, you, you could have been head of the family one day. I, I was thinking of handing it down to you."

"I don't care. Carly's way more important than any of that could ever be."

For the first time, Uncle Gibson was becoming truly angry.

"Now listen here Gibby! You can only revoke your status during a family reunion, so if I end it right this second, then you're not leaving anyone!"

"You can go ahead and end it for all I care. I'm never coming back."

Gibby turned away from his Uncle. He began to leave.

"Alright Gibby! I hereby declare–"

_Go ahead Uncle Gibson._

"This Gibson family reunion–"

_Make._

"Officially–"

_My._

"Irrevocably–"

_Day._

"Ov–" Uncle Gibson cut himself off. A shadow had fallen over him. Whatever it was, it had blocked out the sun. He looked up at the sky, and was thunderstruck by what he saw.

"I don't believe it," Gibbriella said.

"It's a bird."

"It's a plane."

"It's…it's…"

A deafening crash shook the Gibson family dinner table, making the platters rattle and the unfinished meatloaf quiver. The object, or rather the person that had caused the crash, remained in a kneeling position for several seconds until they recovered. When several seconds had passed, this person rose to _her_ feet. In her hands she held a device, which appeared to be the secret behind her flying abilities.

"Not. So. Fast."

Carly switched her attention from the Gibsons to her boyfriend. "Thanks for stalling Gibby. You look tired, take a break." Carly's eyes narrowed at the Gibson family.

"They're mine now."

* * *

No one said anything for the longest time.

"Gibby?" Gibbriella was looking at the crash-landed brunette very nervously right now. "Wh-when did your girlfriend learn how to fly?"

"You and your family gave me my wings, Gibbriella," Carly said. "Before, I was just a little girl who didn't know what it meant to fight for the one she loved. But now…" Carly straightened to her full height. "I'm a woman."

Carly gazed at each of the Gibsons, her eyes as black as coals. "You guys want shirtless?"

She doffed her shirt and threw it aside like it was nothing. "You got it! You want tabletop dancing?"

She clapped the beat to 'Go, Go, Round They Go,' hopping up and down the table. When she finished the second verse, and sang 'Carly GO,' Carly sent the nearest platter soaring like a rocket, easily the best shot of the evening.

"You got it! And you guys want a game?"

The Gibsons were waiting with bated breath for Carly to finish her statement, when they realized that the question wasn't rhetorical and that she actually wanted a response. The family looked at one another and slowly nodded, reaching a consensus.

"Yes, we would," Uncle Gibson said.

"Then you got it!"

Carly stuck her fingers in her mouth and let out a shrill whistle. "SAM! FREDDIE! YOU CAN BRING HIM OUT NOW!"

Through the gate by the side of the house, which had never been breached before (until a certain blonde came along that is), Sam and Freddie were dragging something toward the others. Rather, they were dragging some_one_. He had a sack stuffed over his head, and was kicking and screaming, but Sam and Freddie held him firm. Gibby thought he recognized the voice.

"Let me go! Let me go! You iCarlies will rue this day I tell you! Rue it!"

Sam tossed the person onto the ground, a good ten meters in front of where the majority of the Gibsons were standing. The person frantically scrambled to his feet and ripped off the sack. He glowered at the others with fiery blue eyes.

"Who are all these people?" Nevel demanded. He searched through the crowd until he finally spotted Carly, who was still standing on top of the table. "Carly Shay?"

"Hello Nevel," Carly said.

"What's the meaning of this? Why did you have me dragged over here by those two –" Nevel pointed at Sam and Fredide. "–henchmen?"

"Nevel," Carly said. She gestured at the people surrounding them. "Meet the Gibsons."

"What are you talking abou–" Nevel stopped mid-sentence. He spotted Gibby amongst the crowd, and as Nevel studied the other faces, he recognized the unmistakable resemblance. "Dear God."

"You know, Gibby's Aunt Gabriella told me something interesting at dinner Nevel." Carly grinned at her longtime nemesis. "She said that no matter how much meatloaf they make, they never leave leftovers."

Nevel's eyes settled on the table where Carly was standing. There were still several platters piled high with unholy amounts of the food. Nevel's eyes became as wide as those platters.

"Oh no, oh no. One's bad enough," Nevel pointed toward Gibby, then the others. "But the whole _family_?" Nevel's finger trembled its way toward Carly. "You better not do this to me Carly Shay. You better not do this!"

Nevel's threats caught in his throat. Mindlessly, like robots, the Gibsons were creeping toward the table and picking up as much of the meatloaf as they could carry. Gunner grabbed an armful that was almost bigger than him.

"No. Stay back. All of you, stay back."

A circle had formed around Nevel, and it started closing in.

"No! You can't do this to me! I'm Nevel Papperman. Nevel Papperman!"

The first handful of meat was flung. It was followed by many others.

"No! Noooooo! Noooooooooooooooo!"

* * *

"Well, that was fun."

Carly was slapping her hands together, trying to get them clean. She had never thrown meat at someone before, but she had to admit, it was quite exhilarating.

"I'll say!" Gibby said. "But…" Gibby gestured in Nevel's direction. The majority of Nevel could no longer be seen, but was instead buried at the bottom of a towering mountain of meatloaf. All that was visible were a few fingertips. "Do you think he's going to be okay?"

"Probably not," Sam said. "I checked his pulse about a minute ago, and there definitely wasn't beating." Her friends took a moment to register this.

"Oh chiz."

"Well done Carly, well done!" Uncle Gibson was clapping his hands and beaming at the brunette. "I have to say, I was skeptical about you for a while there, but that game was probably the best one we had since we went cave-diving with Ginger Fox."

Carly glanced at her boyfriend. "You dated Ginger Fox?"

Gibby's eyes went to the ground. "…Sorta."

Carly shook her head. "I don't care about Ginger Fox or…cave-diving." Carly focused on Gibby's family. "I got some things to say to you."

"And we do too!" Uncle Gibson announced. Aunt Gabriella drew up beside him, smiling.

"We certainly do," she added.

"I DON'T CARE!"

Like with Gibby's prior outburst, the scene went completely silent. Not even an insect or bird was audible. Carly was finally going to have her say.

_Whack!_ From somewhere in the crowd, a vicious spanking sound resonated. Several eyebrows went up. Freddie's eyes were noticeably watering, though again he didn't look quite unhappy.

"Sorry," Sam said. She peered guiltily at the Carly, then at the crowd. "Sorry everyone, I forgot. Please, carry on."

In a hushed tone, so no one could hear, Freddie whispered in Sam's ear.

"Are we getting more lotion on the way home?"

"Definitely."

Carly waited for the effect of the interruption to wear off. She used silence to regain the tension.

"Alright, I'm just going to come right out and say it. I was a wimp. I'm not proud of it, but I was a wimp. When I came here today, I thought that this was a good opportunity to meet Gibby's family, and that we could all be friends. But within the first few minutes of meeting you, I should have realized that this could never be."

Carly gazed sadly at her audience.

"You guys were really mean to me, but I was so worried about getting you to like me that I didn't try standing up for myself. Well guess what? I'm standing up for myself, and I'm standing up for myself right now."

In the audience, Gibby smiled. The sight of Carly going in front of everyone and repeating his own words pleased him very much.

"You all should treat others with more respect. Not just for me, but for Gibby too. It didn't matter what the reason was; Gibby invited me here, and you should have respected that. And that more than anything makes me really angry."

Gibby's smile widened.

"Until thirty minutes ago, I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself. I didn't realize it, but it was true. And in that whole time, while I was swinging in the park, I came to realize one thing." Carly looked deeply at her boyfriend.

"I realized that I…l-love Gibby."

Gibby's jaw dropped. He and Carly said they liked each other. They kissed and hugged and called each other funny names. But this was the first time that either had told the other that they loved them.

"A-And if any of you disrespect him or his choices…you're gonna wish you've never been born."

"Yeah, tell 'em Carls!" Sam cheered.

"And…and…" Carly was becoming so worked up, she couldn't control herself anymore. She marched over to Uncle Gibson and gave him a bone-crushing squeeze around the middle, causing the big man to cry out.

"And how do you like being squished, huh?"

Carly next marched over to Aunt Gwen.

"And if you think I'm going to hell, well, wait until you meet Sam."

The brunette then marched over to Grandma Gibson.

"And…" Carly cupped her chest. "And I don't care if they're small! At least mine don't look like yours!"

Finally, Carly wound up in front of Gibbriella.

"And _YOOOUUUU_!"

Carly socked Gibbriella in the face.

"Have a souvenir from Payback City! Skunkbag!"

Gunner and Genevieve covered their ears.

"And…And…" Carly dug through her mind for one last thing to say. "AND I LIKE PHILIP!"

The Gibsons (minus Gibbriella, who was lying on the ground) all stared at the raging brunette in shock. Never had one of Gibby's girlfriends turned the tables on them like this. They had no idea what to do. Uncle Gibson and Aunt Gabriella looked desperately at one another, trying to figure something out.

They suddenly stared clapping.

"Hooray!" they all said.

"Congratulations Carly!" The corners of Uncle Gibson's eyes crinkled. "You passed our test!"

"There wasn't any test!"

The applause immediately stopped.

"Yeah, you're right," Uncle Gibson said.

"It was worth a try," Gunner added.

"So," said Uncle Gibson. He smiled at Carly. "You ran away, came back, made a very clear statement, declared your love for Gibby, and probably landed Gibbriella in the hospital. I think we'll call it a day."

Uncle Gibson cleared his throat. "I hereby declare that this Gibson family reunion is officially–"

"Not over." Carly crossed her arms. "You guys don't think I'm letting you off that easy, do you?"

The Gibsons stared anxiously at one another.

"Ugh." Lying on the grass, Gibbriella started to stir. She covered her swollen eye while she staggered to her feet. She wobbled a little, but managed to stand up. With her one good eye, Gibbriella searched until she found Carly, who was still standing pretty close to her.

"You," Gibbriella growled. She inched toward her assailant.

Carly gulped. She knew she hadn't put much mustard behind the swing, but she couldn't help it. Even when she was preparing for the Shelby Marx fight, she never learned how to punch.

"You, filthy, stinking skunkbag. We'll see who's getting what from Payback City."

"So you must be Gibbriella."

The melodious, sing-song voice of Sam Puckett filled the air, and Carly had never heard anything sweeter. Carly thanked her lucky stars as the blonde sauntered by, getting in between her and Gibby's cousin.

Gibbriella grunted. "Who's this joker?"

Sam smiled. Everyone except for Gibbriella noticed a very dangerous vibe coming off the blonde.

"I go by many names," Sam said.

"Look, I don't have any beef with you alright. Just step aside. I have to teach Gibby's girl some manners."

Gibbriella didn't know how it happened. One second, she was standing toe-to-toe with the blonde, and the next, Sam had Gibbriella's hands clasped behind Gibbriella's back in a vice-like grip.

"Gibbriella," Sam whispered. Her lips were nearly touching the girl's ear. "Mmm, that's a lovely name. That is a lovely name." Keeping one hand fastened around Gibbriella's wrists, Sam used her other to stroke the girl's cheek. "Sweet Gibbriella. Tell me, what's your middle name?"

Over in the crowd, Carly grinned. Sam was in her element. She was in complete control. Like an artist.

"F-Francis," Gibbriella stammered. For the first time, she began to know fear.

"Oh, _Francis_." Sam pronounced the name like a poem. "Francis, Francis, you know, I like that too." Sam stroked the girl's hair. "You have beautiful hair, Gibbriella Francis Gibson. Did anyone ever tell you that?"

"Y-y-yes."

Sam pushed her lips against the girl's ear. Her voice lowered even further, but it remained loud enough for the others to hear. "You wanna know, what they call me, Gibbriella ?"

Gibbriella shook her head.

"Well, back where I come from, they call me the Demon of Ridgeway." Sam paused. "You wanna know, _why_, they call me the Demon of Ridgeway?"

Gibbriella shook her head even harder.

"Well okay!" Sam released Gibbriella. The frightened girl took a few tentative steps backward. Sam's voice returned to its normal volume.

"You know they call me another name," Sam said. She started giggling. "You know, it's…it's kinda dorky, but…" Sam's giggling intensified. "They call me…the… L-l-laughing Hyena. Cause…" Sam was laughing so hard now, she could barely talk. "Cause for SOME reason, a-and I don't know why, maybe my brain's wired the wrong way but…"

Gibbriella had gone white as a snowflake.

"R-right before I…I go for the kill, I just…I just…I just..._can't..._stop... ...HAHA, I just can't stop laughing!"

Gibbriella was as frozen as a statue. Immediately turning serious, Sam straightened up and pointed in a direction away from the Gibson property.

"Yeah, this is the part where you RUN!"

Gibbriella bolted without looking back. Sam pointed at the rest of the Gibsons.

"And I suggest you all run too, cause when I get through with that one, guess who's next?"

The other Gibsons, who were all immensely freaked out by this point, ran for their lives.

Sam was about to turn around and go after Gibbriella, when she instead looked at Gibby. The blonde smiled, shaking her head.

"I love your family."

Beaming like a demon, and laughing like a hyena, Sam tore after Gibbriella.

* * *

Nine sirens sounded as they rolled away down Maple Lawn. Carly, Gibby, Sam and Freddie watched solemnly as the ambulances zoomed off, out of sight. Carly let out a sigh.

"Well, that was violent."

"Yeah," Sam said. "Guess I went a little overboard." Sam peered over at Gibby. "Sorry about that Gibby. You know, hospitalizing your entire family."

"Eh, it's okay. I didn't like them anyway."

"Yeah, they were pretty unpleasant," Carly said. "Hey, weren't there ten of them?"

Sam went really quiet. Carly rounded on the blonde.

"Okay Sam, what did you do with Gibbriella?"

"Don't worry!" Sam said. She was trying very hard to convince her friend. "Where I put her, they'll never find the body."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

The three began walking down the sidewalk. After a couple of minutes, they came across a very familiar individual.

"Hey Guppy," Carly said. She frowned when she saw the sad look on Guppy's face. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Guppy's shoulders were sagging. He lowered his head.

"Habby birfday," he moaned. Carly's brows furrowed even further.

"Wow, he's even dumber than he was before he went to school."

"It'll be okay," Gibby said. He scooped up his once-genius brother and placed him on his shoulders. "He'll back to the way he was once he returns to school, right Gups?"

"Habby birfday," Guppy repeated, sounding even more depressed.

"Maybe we should just leave him alone," Carly whispered to Gibby. "It might damage his self-esteem."

Gibby nodded. He reached out and grabbed Carly's hand in his. The brunette smiled in return.

"So Carly, what's that flying thingamajig?" Sam asked.

"Oh." Carly whirled a wooden staff around in her hand. "It's a glider. You know, like the one Aang has in Avatar: The Last Airbender."

"But I thought he used airbending to manipulate it," Freddie said.

"Hmph." Carly stuck her nose in the air. "Well mine's different."

"So how did you make it?" asked Gibby.

Carly's eyes lighted at this. "Well, I was sitting there in Oak Park, swinging on that old swing set, when Philip came by."

"Who's Philip?" Sam said.

"No one important," Gibby responded. "So what'd he say Carly?"

"Well, he just said a bunch stuff about how you were trying to stall the reunion, and how he thought I should return cause if I didn't the Gibsons would win, and how you were worth it, and things like that. And then, well, he got into an argument over the phone with David Schwimmer, but after that, he said that I was good with my hands. And during that whole time, I was playing around with these twigs and stuff and I made a miniature kite."

Carly pulled out her kite from her pocket and showed it to her friends.

"There's no way you made that," Sam said.

"Did too," Carly insisted. "I found out I can work with my hands, just like Spencer. And so I thought about the fastest way to get back to Gibby's Uncle's, and I realized that maybe I could build some kind of glider. It was really windy too, so it was the perfect weather. And that old swing set was falling apart anyway, so I tore out some of the rotten pieces, tied them together with some loose string I found, and made the fans out of oak leaves."

Gibby stopped dead in his tracks.

"You WHAT?"

"I know, wasn't that resourceful?"

Gibby sputtered several times before getting the words out. "That swing set was built by an old man out of the remains of his dead wife's _bed_! It was a beautiful metaphor for the circle of life!"

"N-no it wasn't." Carly was losing the feeling in her legs. "_Gibby_, you, you shouldn't joke about things like that."

"Hey, I heard about that swing set," Freddie said. "I read something about it while I was searching on Zaplook once."

"Aw _man_!" Carly tossed her glider with all her might. It landed on an off-screen cat, which howled in pain.

"Okay, let's just pretend we didn't hear about the swing set either," Gibby said. He knitted his eyebrows when he spotted something different about Freddie.

"Hey Freddie? Uh, not that I'm checking you out or anything, but…what's with your butt?"

The back of Freddie's pants was several sizes too large, as if someone had stuffed them with something.

"I bandaged it," Sam said. Judging from Sam's tone, she didn't think this was a big deal. "You see, Freddie needed someone to help him lotion his rash, and this escalated to–"

"Nothing that was obscene or inappropriate!" Carly interrupted. She glared at her two friends, who suddenly looked very guilty. "And you two need to learn a thing or two about keeping your hands to yourselves."

"Okay," Sam said.

"We understand," Freddie added.

They walked for a few steps before Carly piped in again.

"So…uh…you know, Gibby and I…we don't roll that way, but uh…what…what exactly were you two doing when I called?"

Sam and Freddie glanced warily at one another. They came to some unspoken agreement before blistering Carly with responses.

"You don't want to know."

"You _really_ don't want to know."

"It was very obscene."

"And inappropriate."

"It might even be illegal."

That was enough for Carly. She ignored her friends (who began whispering something about 'round two') for the duration of their walk. Instead, she concentrated on Gibby, whose hand she tightened her grip around.

"I'm just glad you came back," Gibby said. He increased his own grip on Carly's. The brunette didn't have to hear it to know that this meant, 'I love you too.' "I guess I really owe one to Philip."

"Well, he helped, but it wasn't just Philip. You know, I started thinking about all the things we've done in the past, and I realized how I felt about you."

Gibby smiled.

"You remember the raccoons that gave us rabies?"

Gibby's smiled evaporated.

"Raccoons?"

"Yeah, you know, in preschool, when we met. You told our teacher, Mr….oh, I don't remember who he was, but you told him we got rabies from raccoons, and then I told him they stole all our attention, so we couldn't pay him."

Gibby frowned. "Carly, what are you talking about? We met in the third grade."

Carly's stomach dropped. "A-are you sure?"

"Positive," Gibby said.

"Well…" Carly desperately sought to redeem herself. "Well that wasn't the only thing I thought about. Remember when we talked in the studio after that disaster group date with Shannon?"

Gibby was starting to grow irritated.

"Again, what are you talking about?"

Freddie joined the conversation. "Yeah, you fled the restaurant like the rest of us, and by the time we got home, you had a date lined up for the next night with some kid you met on the sidewalk."

"FINE! THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW WHEN I NEARLY TORE GIBBY'S SHIRT OFF AND WE STARTED DATING!"

"What's wrong with you?" Sam exclaimed. "You guys started dating cause you thought it was funny that time I drew two eyes and a mouth on Gibby's stomach and went, 'haha, you have a stomach-face."

Carly rubbed her head. "Gee, my memory's really bad."

"Fine!" Gibby snapped. "We'll forget about the false flashbacks too!"

The four walked in silence once more.

"Hey Carly?" Freddie said. He spoke in a gentle voice, so as to avoid further upsetting the brunette. "You know you can put your shirt back on, right?"

Carly shrugged. "Actually I kinda enjoy being without it." She peered over at her boyfriend. "I see you put yours back on."

"It was getting kind of windy," Gibby said.

"Yeah…

Carly suddenly assaulted the Gibson boy.

"TAKE IT OFF GIBBY!"

"Carly, what's the matter with you?"

"I GOT THE IDEA FROM A FALSE FLASHBACK, REMEMBER? OH WAIT, YOU CAN'T!"

"Not in front of Guppy! He's too young!"

"TOO LATE GIBSTER! SHOW ME THE GOODS! NOW!"

"I guess this is where we leave," Sam said.

"Buenos dias," Freddie added.

The two snatched up a confused Guppy and darted away, hoping to God Gibby had health insurance.

THE END

**Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly, it's characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.**

**AN: Whew, it's all done. I have to tell you guys, I worked insanely hard on this story. BUT, to me it was totally worth it. Creative writing's my favorite thing ever, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Which leaves you guys. Tell me what you thought. Also, let me know if you would like to see an Outtakes/deleted scenes/epilogue chapter. I've got some ideas, and it might be kinda funny.**

**Anyway, thank you all so much! Publishing, even fanfics, is a two-step process, and I wouldn't be sharing my crazy ideas if you guys didn't rock! Love you all, love iCarly, and maybe you'll hear from me again sometime, haha.**

**Archilochus**


	6. Bloopers

**Bloopers**

"_And...take one."_

Carly is laying into Gibby over the phone. She has jumped the gun and thinks that he wants to break up with her, when in reality he just wants to ask her to come to his family reunion. Carly is about to indulge in a dangerously unhealthy ice cream and eat it over the phone, so Gibby can hear.

"Quiet Gibby! I've got the big spoon now, and I want you to pay attention! You're going to hear this whether you like it or not!"

"No, Carly, no! That ice-cream is _very_ bad for you!"

"Mmmm. Gah. Dush dish meg 'oo habby Gibby?"

"I can't even _understand_..."

Gibby trailed off. Over the connection, he can hear the distinct sounds of coughing. The coughing quickly escalates into choking.

"Uh...Carly?"

The choking is getting louder. Gibby's grip on his cell phone tightens with fear.

"Carly, what's wrong?"

Gibby hears a particularly loud gasp. Faintly, in the most oxygen-deprived of croaks, a voice is heard on the other end. "Oh..." _cough-cough _"I-I think I swallowed the big spoon."

* * *

"I know you do."

Carly is staring at the wall behind her bed, where she has mounted a giant poster of a shirtless Gibby. Eying the poster flirtatiously, Carly slinks across her bedroom floor, until she is standing directly in front of the large image.

"You like that?" Carly moves her hands over her body. "Yeah, I know you do." Carly lifts her hands in the air and starts dancing. "Woo-yeah, I _know _you like that Gibby. Woo-woo. Cal-i-for-nia girls, we're unforgettable, Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top. Sun-kissed skin, so hot, will melt your popsicle..."

Carly was so busy seducing the Gibby in image form, she didn't hear her bedroom door open or the sounds of Spencer's footsteps.

"Oh-oh-ohohohoh, oh-oh-ohoh–"

"Hey Carly, I got a splinter in my finger, can you help me – ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

The brunette definitely heard Spencer's screaming. When she saw Spencer standing in her room, clearly witnessing what was meant to be a private scene, she started screaming too.

* * *

"Wait, I just remembered." Carly looked earnestly at Gibby. "Freddie left his ointment on my sofa. If he forgets about it, that rash is going to get out of control."

Gibby scoffed. "He stopped itching weeks ago. Besides, his ointment's safe and sound on your sofa. What's it going to do, fall into the wrong hands?"

Over at the Bushwell, Sam politely handed Freddie his bottle of lotion. This confused the Benson boy. Knowing Sam, he had thought she was going to make a grab for it and play keep away with him for as long as possible.

"Thanks Sam," Freddie said. With the bottle in hand, he walked over to the bathroom, closed the door, and proceeded to remove his clothes. He had nearly gotten his shirt off when he realized that he wasn't alone. In the mirror above the sink, he could see Sam clearly standing behind him. "Uh, Sam...what are you doing?"

"Watching." Freddie was surprised to see that somehow, during their trek from the living room sofa, Sam had grabbed a chair. Currently, the blonde was setting said chair down on the ground and sitting down on it.

"You can't watch. Do you have any idea where this rash is?"

Sam smiled.

"Yep."

* * *

It took Carly a second or two to realize she was being addressed. When she turned around to face the owner of the voice, she found that it wasn't Gladys or Genevieve, but someone completely different. Carly smiled at this new young girl, who had a head of reminiscent dark hair.

"Oh hi, I don't think I met you yet." Carly offered her hand, but the girl ignored it.

"Yeah, you're in my seat dribble-face."

"Gibbriella!"

Gibby's Aunt Gabriella was shooting eye daggers at the young girl. It was obvious the girl was her daughter.

"Gibbriella, that's not how we talk to other people."

Carly burst out laughing. "Oh my God...oh my God...your name is...G-Gibriella?" The brunette fell to the grass, cackling so hard she could barely breathe. "What kind of a stupid name is that?"

Gibriella put her hands on her hips. "Dang it Carly, you just ruined this scene. Now we're going to have to do it again.

* * *

Gibby's Aunt, Aunt Gabriella, was shooting eye daggers at the young girl. It was obvious the girl was her daughter.

"Gibbriella, that's not how we talk to other people."

Carly fell to the ground once again, unable to hear Gibbriella's name without hacking up a lung. "Oh man. HAHA! Gibbriella! That is the funniest name I've ever heard."

* * *

"Gibbriella, that's not how we talk to other people."

"Yeah!" Carly added. She glared fiercely at Gibbriella, trying not to laugh. "That's not how we talk to other people Gi...That's not how talk to...That's not how we..." Carly dissolved into hysterics once more. "I can't say it! That name is just. So. Funny!"

* * *

"WHOO, MEATLOAF!" Uncle Gibson hollered. He clapped his hands together and began rubbing them furiously. "Ya like meatloaf Carly?"

"Oh yeah, meatloaf's awesome," Carly said.

"Except for this one time, my friend Sam's mom made some, and we all threw up so bad we had to go to the hospital."

Every face at the Gibson table went stone cold.

"And then when we got to the hospital, we all got diarrhea so bad they actually had to shut down the bathroom."

The Gibsons started feeling a little queasy.

"They had to call five plumbers. Five plumbers. I mean, you wouldn't _believe_ all the stuff that was coming out of–"

"Okay," Gibby interrupted. "That story is getting really, really disgusting."

* * *

An idea came to mind. A ridiculous idea. An idea that was so ridiculous, it made her even more afraid. Try though she might, she could not banish the idea, and nothing else was coming to her.

"O-okay," Carly said. "Okay. Everyone. I'm going to lead you in…a sing-along."

A multitude of groans caused Carly's heart to plummet even further. But she had already stated her plan. She couldn't go back on it now."

"Okay," Carly said. Reluctance didn't even come close. "R-Repeat after me."

Carly resisted the urge to cry. With a trembling lip, she formed the letter 'F' with her fingers. _Please work_.

"There once was a man from Nantucket."

"Carly!" Gibby had interrupted his girlfriend again, but this time more desperately. "This fic is Rated 'T'!"

* * *

Carly let her head fall into her hands. It was hard to believe that just a week ago, she was pretending to seduce a giant depiction of her boyfriend posted on her bedroom wall. Now, she wasn't even sure what the future of Gibby and her would be. Would Gibby forgive her for running off like that? She had given him her word after all. Would he honestly choose her over his own family, no matter how nasty they were? Carly's granddad could be harsh sometimes. Carly wondered what she would do if she was forced to choose between him and Gibby.

"I'm sorry Gibby," Carly sighed. She resumed swinging.

_Creak-creak. Creak-creak._

I wonder what he's doing now?

Back at Uncle Gibson's, Gibby had just finished drawing the mouth on his stomach. He pocketed the magic marker and clutched his bare belly, so that the others could see.

"Hey look everybody," Gibby chuckled. "I have a stomach-face."

All the Gibsons, including Philip, clapped their hands and laughed.

* * *

"Maybe not. Maybe if she really likes you the way you like her, she'll…she'll…" Guppy balled up his fists. He clearly forgot what he was going to say.

"Maybe she'll come back?" Gibby finished for him. Guppy nodded dolefully. "Yeah, you're right Guppy, I have to stay positive. She'll come back. I know she will."

_Ten hours later._

"She's not coming back, is she Guppy?" Guppy shook his head.

"Probably not. In fact, I just saw Philip take off in the same direction. For all you know, they could have fallen in love and be consummating their passion under the moonlight as we speak."

Gibby glared at his brother.

* * *

"That's okay," Philip said. He stopped a few feet in front of Carly. He put his hands in his pockets. "I'm used to people ignoring me, so don't worry about it."

Carly wanted to say she was sorry, but had a difficult time finding her voice. This happened sometimes when she felt sad.

"It really used to bother me when people ignored me. Well, actually, it still kind of does, but I've learned how to cope."

The brunette didn't know how to respond. She had never quite been in the same situation as Philip.

"Okay, you know what? I lied! I HATE it when people ignore me, alright? I freaking hate it! I mean, all day, ALL DAY, just blank stares, and silent mouths, and slack faces, and on and on and on and–"

"Stop yelling!" Carly screamed. She couldn't take any more of this. "Look, I know it's upsetting that you keep getting ignored, but we can't understand you! In fact, _no one_ understands you! We don't even know what language you're speaking in. That's why everyone ignores you."

Philip was about to open his mouth in reply, but then closed it as a realization dawned on him. "Holy crab you're right."

* * *

"Uncle Gibson. I would like to revoke my status as a Gibson family member."

A gasp echoed through the Gibsons. Uncle Gibson found the revelation so shocking, it downright confused him.

"Gibby, you… you can't be serious."

The look Gibby gave Uncle Gibson convinced him he was anything but.

"I am serious."

"But…Gibby, you, you could have been head of the family one day. I, I was thinking of handing it down to you."

"I don't care. Vito Corleone called, and I gotta say, his reunions sound like a lot more fun."

"What does he have that we don't?"

"He made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

* * *

"Alright Gibby! I hereby declare–"

_Go ahead Uncle Gibson._

"This Gibson family reunion–"

_Make_.

"Officially–"

_My_.

"Irrevocably–"

_Day_.

"Ov–" Uncle Gibson cut himself off. A shadow had fallen over him. Whatever it was, it had blocked out the sun. He looked up at the sky, and was thunderstruck by what he saw.

"I don't believe it," Gibbriella said.

"It's a bird."

"It's a plane."

"It's…it's…"

"Uhh...Superman?"

Gibby couldn't believe what he was seeing either. Instead of seeing Carly soaring through the air on some kind of outrageous flying device made from a beautiful metaphor for the circle of life, he actually saw Superman. With a big, stupid smile on his face, Superman landed in front of the awestruck family.

"That's right Gibby," Superman said, once he had alighted. He nodded at Gibby like he had the answers to all the boy's questions. "The Man of Steel."

"Uhh..." Gibby said. "Wh-what are you doing?"

"I heard there was dancing," Superman said. He put his hands on his hips, still grinning. "And Superman loves dancing."

"I don't really care," Gibby replied. "You're ruining this scene."

Superman's smiled faltered a bit.

"Yeah!" Gibbriella had joined the conversation, and was now glaring at the caped superhero. "You're messing everything up."

"Look," Gibby said. "Archilochus worked really hard on this story, alright? I mean, the description and imagery is a bit weak cause frankly, his prose needs work and he got kind of lazy. But he worked hard on the dialogue and making everything funny."

"But I–" Gibbriella interrupted Superman's protesting.

"And you're ruining the big, over-the-top climax where Carly storms back on the scene, wins back her integrity and professes her love for Gibby."

"But-but-but..." Superman was starting to panic. He looked anxiously at the other Gibsons and saw, to his discontent, that they weren't any happier with him than Gibby or Gibbriella. Superman suddenly flexed his bicep. "Hey, look at that." He exerted the muscle even harder, glancing expectantly at his audience. "Hey, that's big muscle huh? That's a reeeaaaally big muscle! You guys like really big muscles, right?"

"No, we don't!" Gibby shouted. He pointed up at the sky, in the direction from which Superman had flown. "Now get out of here."

Superman lowered his head in shame. "Aww." He kicked at the ground with a red boot, going quiet for a while. Getting into position, Superman was about to fly off when he stopped. He looked back at the Gibsons. "Hey, I was going to go fly by Inside Out Burger. Anyone want anything!"

"No!"

* * *

"Not. So. Fast."

Carly switched her attention from the Gibsons to her boyfriend. "Thanks for stalling Gibby. You look tired, take a break." Carly's eyes narrowed at the Gibson family.

"They're mine now."

No one said anything for the longest time.

"Gibby?" Gibbriella was looking at the crash-landed brunette very nervously right now. "Wh-when did your girlfriend learn how to fly?"

"You and your family gave me my wings, Gibbri...Gibbri...Gi – HAHA, oh chiz, I still can't say that name!"

* * *

Carly shook her head. "I don't care about Ginger Fox or…cave-diving." Carly focused on Gibby's family. "I got some things to say to you."

"And we do too!" Uncle Gibson announced. Aunt Gabriella drew up beside him, smiling.

"We certainly do," she added.

"I DON'T CARE!"

Like with Gibby's prior outburst, the scene went completely silent. Not even an insect or bird was audible. Carly was finally going to have her say.

_Whack!_ From somewhere in the crowd, a vicious spanking sound resonated. Several eyebrows went up. Freddie's eyes were noticeably watering, though again he didn't look quite unhappy.

"Uh, Sam?" Freddie said. He quickly covered his mouth with a hand, afraid he'd burst out laughing. "You were supposed to spank me."

"I don't mind sweetie," Grandma Gibson said. She winked at Sam. "At my age, you take whatever you can get."

* * *

_Whack!_ From somewhere in the crowd, a vicious spanking sound resonated. Several eyebrows went up. Freddie's eyes were noticeably watering, though again he didn't look quite unhappy.

"Sorry," Sam said. She peered guiltily at the Carly, then at the crowd. "Sorry everyone, I forgot. Please, carry on."

In a hushed tone, so no one could hear, Freddie whispered in Sam's ear.

"Are we getting more lotion on the way home?"

"Definitely."

Grandma Gibson, who had overheard everything, leaned in to participate in the discussion. "So, is this a party of two or is there room for one more?"

* * *

_Whack!_

"Sam, STOP SPANKING ME!"

* * *

"And…and…" Carly was becoming so worked up, she couldn't control herself anymore. She marched over to Uncle Gibson and gave him a bone-crushing squeeze around the middle, causing the big man to cry out.

"And how do you like being squished, huh?"

Carly next marched over to Aunt Gwen.

"And if you think I'm going to hell, well, wait until you meet Sam."

The brunette then marched over to Grandma Gibson.

"And…" Carly cupped her chest. "And I don't care if they're small! At least mine don't look like yours!"

Finally, Carly wound up in front of Gibbriella.

"And _YOOOUUUU_!"

Carly socked Gibbriella in the face.

"Have a souvenir from Payback City! Bitch!"

Everyone went completely silent. Carly paused, not understanding what was going on, when she realized her gaffe. "Oh my God." She put her hands on her mouth, took them off, and then blushed horribly. "I'm so, so sorry. I...I normally don't use that word, I...I just...I just overreacted, okay? I just overreacted. I...gee you know...I...I don't even listen to rap, I swear, I just...man, I don't even know where that word _came_ from!"

* * *

So you must be Gibbriella."

The melodious, sing-song voice of Sam Puckett filled the air, and Carly had never heard anything sweeter. Carly thanked her lucky stars as the blonde sauntered by, getting in between her and Gibby's cousin.

Gibbriella grunted. "Who's this joker?"

Sam smiled. Everyone except for Gibbriella noticed a very dangerous vibe coming off the blonde. Sam walked over to the table, where everyone had eaten dinner, and jammed a pencil into the surface. The blonde glanced at Gibbriella.

"How about a magic trick?" Sam began twirling her hand around the pencil. "I'm gonna make this pencil...disappear."

Gibbriella, who had never seen _The Dark Knight_, began making her way toward Sam. Carly eyes became huge.

"Sam, this is rated 'T', remember?"

* * *

Sam pushed her lips against the girl's ear. Her voice lowered even further, but it remained loud enough for the others to hear. "You wanna know, what they call me, Gibbriella ?"

Gibbriella shook her head.

"Well, back where I come from, they call me the Demon of Ridgeway." Sam paused. "You wanna know, _why_, they call me the Demon of Ridgeway?"

Gibbriella shook her head even harder.

A chainsaw roared to life. The others watched on in horror as Sam slid a hockey mask over her face and began whirling her buzzing monstrosity in the air.

"Sam!" Carly screamed.

* * *

With one, final heave, Sam pulled the torture rack until it stood directly in front of the Gibsons.

"_Sam_! What part of 'Rated T' don't you understand?"

* * *

"Why didn't I get any lines?" Uncle Grover, the father of Gladys and husband of Aunt Gwen, is glaring irately at the author. "I was the only Gibson family member that never said anything. I mean, you introduced me in Chapter 3, and I didn't even get _one_ line. Not one! Was this an oversight, or do you just hate me?"

* * *

"Whew." Carly wiped the sweat off her forehead. Her, Sam, Freddie, Gibby and Guppy were walking down the sidewalk. It was the end of the fic, and after days of rehearsals and shootings, everyone was feeling quite drained. "I'm glad that's over."

"I know," Sam said. "I never thought the busiest part of our lives would be to do fanfictions for all these writers."

"We're getting paid to do this, right?" Freddie asked.

No one answered Freddie.

"I still have one question though," Carly said. "So everyone ignored Philip because he was unknowingly talking in some strange, alien language, Sam did something unspeakably violent to Gibbriella, and Uncle Grover was ignored because either the author hates him or just forgot about him. But...why is this 'fic' called The Truth About Gibbies?"

The group went silent again. Obviously, no one knew the answer to Carly's question. Growling under her breath, Sam rounded on the author. "Archilochus!"

Archilochus (a tall, muscular man with smoldering good-looks, the body of Michelangelo's 'David,' and an intellect to match Thomas Aquinas) looked innocently at the blonde. "What?"

"Why did you name this fic The Truth About Gibbies?" Carly snapped.

"It doesn't make any sense!" Freddie added. Archilochus shrugged.

"I don't know, I just thought it would be funny."

"Well it's not!" Sam said.

"Yeah," said Carly. "This 'Bloopers' chapter wasn't funny either. I bet you didn't even try that hard. And...why do you write so many crackfics anyway?"

Archilochus became very defensive. "Look, I get really busy sometimes and I need a way to deal with the stress. I used to write serious stuff under a different pen-name a long time ago, but then I got bored with that and decided to do something different."

"Don't you have a lot of original fiction that needs tending to?" Freddie asked.

"If you want to become a real writer, you have to publish your own material," Sam said.

"I can't help it!" Archilochus pulled his long, shimmery, beautiful hair with his fingers. "I love stealing someone else's characters and making demented little stories out of them. It's so much easier!"

"C'mon guys," Carly said. She shot a disdainful look at Archilochus. "Let's get out of here."

"Wait!" The characters from iCarly however had no further interest in Archilochus. "You guys can't leave! I...I'm the writer! You have to do what I say! Wait...I know. I'll write a multi-chapter Seddie fic. I'll go mainstream, I promise. I'll put all my effort into for once, I swear!"

"You suck!"

Archilochus' eyes bulged. It wasn't Carly, Sam or Freddie that had said this, but The Man himself. Danwarp had suddenly appeared, and was now giving him the double thumbs-down. "D-Dan? What...c'mon, I'm your fan. You see? _Fan_fiction! I even follow you on Twitter!"

Dan formed a giant 'L' with his fingers, stuck it on his forehead and stalked off, muttering to himself and shaking his head. He then warped away.

"Aw _come_ on!"

**Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly, it's characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.**

**AN: Okay, clearly I don't take myself that seriously. All egotism and silliness aside though, I'm not sure how these bloopers turned out. I thought they'd be easy, but they actually were pretty hard. I'm personally not that pleased with them, but let me know what you guys thought.**

**Also, I'm trying to decide what to do next. I don't see many longer stories coming out of me, but I was thinking about a Seddie multi-chap, where Freddie (unwillingly) slowly falls in love with Sam, called My Blonde-Headed Nightmare. It would be more serious, but still funny. Then I thought of making that into a shorter one-two-or three-shot, and then I thought of Ragged Heart Meltdown, a fast-paced lovefest that gradually gets more and more intense until the finale. I have other ideas too. The thing is, I don't know how much longer I'll be writing fanfiction (if I'll ever completely stop), but I wanted do at least one thing where I can say, okay, I really put in a maximum effort for once.**

**Finally, I wanted to publicly thank all my lovely reviewers:**

**Invader Johnny – you reviewed every chapter, no matter what. You even reviewed other stuff I wrote a while ago. I LOVE that! Your readership really meant a lot, and it's nice getting to know you. !Viva Mexico!**

**Bubbles – first off, I love that name. Second, your reviews were very nice, and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.**

**kppm13mylife – you gave me a LONG review, lol. I'm so honored. And you declared your love for me, haha. They do love me, they do, they do, they do!**

**BlondeMascaraPrincess – I like your pen name too, and your reviews. And you taught me a new word. 'Lovey.'**

**SeddieIsFearless – Yes. Seddie is very Fearless.**

**g – You reviewed this story and Worst Case Scenario if memory serves me correct. Thank you VERY much good sir!**

**twowritehands – Nice feedback AND constructive criticism! I'm sorry you have two write hands though. It must be devastating.**

**PaVm – I can't believe you read this thing in one sitting. I hope you haven't sustained any permanent psychological damage. But seriously, thank you.  
**

**Jenaca – Yay, you liked Philip! He's kinda based off me, that is, if I were emo in a funny way!**

**Alfabet00789 – You just reviewed yesterday, but heck. You get a shout-out too.**

**chocolate rules333 – Chocolate does rule. End of discussion.**

**Stace – Well, I guess you got shirtless Gibby. You also got shirtless Carly. My apologies.**

**Lady B – Thanks! I hope it in fact was awesome.**


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